25 Necessary Coping Skills For Children & Why They Are Important

Life is not always easy. So one needs to prepare for those challenges early in life. This post on coping skills for children can assist you in teaching key tactics that may benefit your kids in the future. Coping skills are the strategies that help us deal with adverse situations and keep ourselves composed while preparing us to face challenges. Instead of ignoring the problem and becoming frustrated or nervous, they assist you in dealing with it productively, responsibly, and with ease.

Children are not good at expressing their emotions, such as fear, irritation, or anger (1). As parents, you need to help your children learn and develop these skills. Read on to learn why coping skills are essential for children and ways to teach these skills.

Why Are Coping Skills Important For Kids?

Children get angry, sad, bored, scared, embarrassed, anxious, and depressed with various day-to-day experiences, the same way that adults do (1). These feelings need to be managed correctly to avoid problems later (2). Unattended problems could impact a child negatively—it might increase the risk of depression or addiction to alcohol or drugs.

Coping skills help manage emotions and situations for the healthy mental and physical growth of a child. Learning healthy coping skills can help children fight their fears, be calm, happy, productive, and stress-free.

How Do You Teach Coping Skills To Kids?

Teaching coping skills requires an understanding of the problem. If the child is affected emotionally, the strategies need to be targeted on the feelings. However, if it’s a situational problem, it requires skills to solve the situation.

Emotion-Focused Coping Skills

Emotional coping skills are needed to manage stress. The focus is on helping the child tolerate stress and overcome it. Make the child understand that few things require acceptance to move on in life. Some examples of such situations are:

• Loss of a pet
• Death of a loved one
• Not being a part of a social circle
• Change of town or school

Emotion-focused coping skills involve distraction to make the child feel better and calm.

1. Label the feelings

Verbalizing feelings by saying, ‘I am mad,’ ‘I feel sad’ or ‘I am nervous’ can at times help children feel relieved.

You should help them describe their feelings and explain to them there is no need to get embarrassed. You can try out the following things.

• Talk about different emotions.
• Show them pictures with various feelings.
• Act emotions or show them videos.
• Play social charades, describing situations and associated feelings.

2. Do breathing exercises

Deep breathing relaxes the mind and body. Teach some deep breathing exercises right from a young age (3).

• Tell them to try bubble breathing.
• Ask to inhale deeply, imagining smelling a pizza, and exhale out as if blowing out a birthday candle.
• Lie down with a soft toy on the belly and ask to breathe in such a way that the toy swings up and down.
• Tell them to breathe till the count of five and exhale the same way. Repeat the cycle ten times.
• Elephant breathing can be done by standing with feet spread wide and arms hanging forward. Inhale slowly through the nose, raising the arms over the head, and then exhale slowly, bringing the arms down.
• Practice shoulder roll breathing. Your child has to sit upright, taking in a slow breath through the nose by raising the shoulders and lowering when exhaling through the mouth.

3. Perform exercise and yoga

‘A healthy mind dwells in a healthy body.’ Having a set routine of exercise helps manage emotions better and reduces stress. Yoga and meditation attune stress responses (4). Encourage your children to perform these stress-relieving physical activities for a happy time ahead.

• Walking
• Running
• Biking
• Skipping
• Jumping
• Hands to feet
• Aerobic exercises
• Stretching exercises

4. Read a book

Story books, comics, and fun fact books are excellent ways of distraction. According to a 2009 study at the University of Sussex, stress is reduced up to 68% by reading (5). Reading constructs a clearer and focused mind, boosts imagination and creativity, and improves vocabulary. Give access to some good books that could elevate your children’s mood and interest.

5. Sing and dance

Singing and dancing help to empathize, communicate, and learn the emotional language (6). Dancing helps children learn to share space and understand the body language of others. They can express their feelings through dance and movements. Music is used as a treatment for physical and mental health problems and is proven to heal, calm, and reduce anxiety and depression (7).

6. Play games

Children love games, which distract them from their worries. Playing games boosts the mood and helps to move on. There are a variety of games to choose from, depending on the child’s age.

• Board games such as Ludo and Snakes and Ladders for toddlers and Monopoly for older children.
• Kick around the ball.
• ‘Feeling’s Uno’ can help determine the reason behind the stress. It can be played by assigning one color to one emotion and asking the child to share the card related to their feeling.
• Spin the bottle can be played as each time the bottle spins, the person has to give an idea to solve the problem.

7. Practice arts and craft

It is one of the best ways to indulge in a fun activity. Identify your child’s favorite activity and give them the raw material they need. If you are not sure about the activity, you can try the following.

• Painting
• Drawing
• Clay and playdough
• Pottery
• Collage making
• Do-it-yourself crafts
• Origami and craft paper art
• Waste upcycling

8. Watch funny videos

Laughing helps forget all the problems. But this should not be done every time the child feels upset, as limiting the screen time is essential. They can watch funny cartoons, prank videos, and funny animal videos to enjoy a stress-free time. You can help them make their funny recordings and watch them together for a gala time with family.

9. Do some positive self-talk

Self-talk is an effective way to gain self-confidence, fight negative emotions, stay motivated, and be productive (8). You need to teach children about positive self-talk and remind them about it when they feel low. Some good phrases to recite when feeling low are:

• “I can do it”
• “I am the best”
• “It’s a great new opportunity to learn”
• “Let’s take a chance”
• “I will be the one taking initiatives”
• “I will give it a try”

10. Eat mood-boosting foods

Food that helps secrete serotonin, also called the happy hormone, elevates the mood from feeling depressed to happy. Treating children with some mood-boosting foods can help them cope-up with stress (9). Some well-known food includes:

• Chocolates
• Blueberries
• Bananas
• Coffee
• Chickpeas
• Walnuts
• Avocados

11. Try a calm-down kit

You can make a box and put some things that can calm down the child. Ask them what all they would love to keep in the box. When they are anxious, ask them to go to their calm-down kit that can have:

• Stress ball
• An aromatic lotion
• A soft stuffed toy
• A favorite photograph
• Favorite gift
• Angry pillow to hit and take out the anger

12. Become the child’s comfort zone

Be a person with whom children feel safe and comfortable sharing their feelings. Let them cry if they want to and never judge them for their feelings about anything or situation (10). By not judging, you can be their ‘happy place.’ Avoid saying things like “boys don’t cry,” “there is nothing to cry about it” or “it’s stupid to feel like this” Allow them to express how they feel, and let them take it out of their heart. Give them time and space if they desire, so that they can overcome the difficult emotions on their own. For small children, frequently hug them and cuddle them when they are upset.

13. Listen

Be a good listener. Listen carefully to what they want to tell you. Let them know that you are interested and are paying complete attention to what they want to share. They will then speak out to you and ask for help (11). Giving time is the most precious thing you can do for your child.

14. Take them for outings

You can take the child to an interesting and fun place and distract them from their worries. Outings are a great way to relax, bond, and have a fun time. You can choose:

• Car rides
• Garden day
• Zoo or aquarium visit
• Circus
• Picnics

15. Share personal experiences

Share your childhood experiences about a similar situation and how you handled it. Sharing personal experiences lets children know that they are not alone in trouble, and it is possible to solve the problem. All they need to have is time and patience. Be careful to avoid preaching in such an approach and be as honest as possible.

Problem-Focused Coping Skills

It involves taking actions for situations, rather than consoling and accepting things with emotional manipulations. The purpose of these skills is to target and resolve the source of stress. Examples of problem-focused coping skills are:

• Ending an unhealthy friendship
• Complaining about bullies to teacher
• Standing up for your rights

16. Offer help

When you find your children struggling with a problem, you could ask them:

• Do you need my help?
• Is there someone who can solve this?
• Who could help you with this?

Make them understand people can help and find ways to solve their issues. For example:

• A homework issue can be resolved by calling a friend or talking to a teacher.
• Complaining about bullies to the teacher can help them.
• Researching on the internet can help them make a school project.

17. Empower them

When children cannot decide or choose between the options, ask them to write down the pros and cons. Doing so will eventually empower them to make correct decisions. Help them brainstorm all the possible solutions and then discuss to get the appropriate and feasible options.

18. Give choices

Providing choices creates a sense of control. Choosing between things will make children understand that there are choices in life. Give them the freedom to choose what they want to wear, what they want to eat, the haircut style, and more.

19. Cope as a family

Family is all about “one for all and all for one.” Spending and discussing the problem with family can be helpful. Thinking about the solutions together creates a sense of togetherness and bonding. You can:

• Plan a trip or feasts
• Have meals together
• Talk at bedtime

20. Take appropriate actions

At times, the reason for stress can be solved by taking appropriate actions. When emotional coping won’t change the situations and reduce the stress, address the problems with correct measures.

• Studying more to lower the stress of exams
• Confronting people
• Telling the truth, instead of hiding

21. Reduce the burden of formal events

Children can be stressed when they attend formal events. It could be due to restrictive outfits, expectations, others’ behavior, physical greetings, and unclear rituals (12) (13). Focus on making the child feel comfortable and happy at events, rather than presenting them to stand up to other’s expectations.

22. Teach them to appreciate life

Unnecessary demands can be a reason behind the stress. Make children aware of the resources they have and how they are a blessing. Appreciating available resources can help them understand and ignore unnecessary demands. You may try the following ways to achieve it.

• Ask them to name five important things present around them.
• Explain to your children about mindful eating, which means taking small bites, chewing slowly, and appreciating how it smells and tastes. They can help to be more aware of the environment and concentrate on essential things like good food and contentment.
• Let them understand the importance of charity.

23. Give a break

Depending on the child’s age and concentration period, give a break between activities. During this time, let them relax, dance, sing, hum, or have a five-minute blanket break. Splashing cold water on the face and eating a sugar-free candy are good options between the study times (14). These measures are useful at coping with stress due to homework and other studies-related activities.

24. Find the child’s triggers

Observe what makes the child angry, sad, or uncomfortable, and plan to control these stress triggers (11).

• If they cry when you turn off the TV, you can give them a warning before turning it off.
• If they get angry when someone else takes their toys, explain to them the importance of sharing.
• When they get cranky when transitioning between activities, taking a break between activities can solve this problem.

25. Seek help from others

Seeking help from others can make children realize there are people around to help them (11).

• A tutor can help in studying a specific subject.
• If the child is uncomfortable learning something from you, a relative or friend can help learn those things.
• An appointment with a counselor can help fight any existing signs of depression.

Other than coping strategies, sound sleep and healthy eating habits help children stay happy.

References

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Reviewer

Dr. Neha Bhave SalankarMD

 

Dr. Neha Bhave Salankar is a consultant psychiatrist at Bhave Institute of Mental Health based in Nagpur and has around 11 years of experience in the field. Having been a meritorious student throughout, she bagged the prestigious gold medal for medicine in MBBS and MD psychiatry.

Read full bio of Dr. Neha Bhave Salankar