21 Ways To Get Over A Crush And Move On
Letting go of your feelings may be difficult, but not impossible.
Specialty: Marriage & Family TherapyExperience: 8 yearsSharon Gilchrest O'Neill is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and family business consultant, who has earlier been a graduate instructor/advisor, an organizational learning consultant, and hospice volunteer. With around eight years of experience working in the private as well as corporate setting, Sharon helps her clients think creatively and build upon their strengths.
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In This Article
The world around you seems magical when you have a crush on someone. However, a crush can also make you miserable—when your feelings are not reciprocated. Thus, it’s important to know how to get over a crush healthily when this happens.
Rejections are extremely common and even a necessary part of life. Not everyone you meet and like will be right for you or reciprocate your feelings. After all, you cannot control and guide the feelings of a person you have a crush on.
A rejection can break your heart and make you doubt yourself. To help you in such a situation, here are some tips for getting over a crush positively.
How To Get Over A Crush: 21 Ways To Move On
Not every crush advances to the dating stage. Some crushes are bound to be unrequited. Here are some ways in which you can deal with such a case.
1. Accept the situation
Acknowledge and accept the fact that the feelings for your crush may not culminate into anything. Your crush is probably seeing someone or does not feel for you the way you feel. Initially, you may deny this glaring fact and may be tempted to hold on to false hopes. But the more you delay, the more painful it might get for you.
2. Be okay with not being okay
When you accept the rejection, it may hurt you immensely. But fearing the pain, or pushing your feelings away, can come back harder to haunt you later. Instead, allow yourself to feel bad and not hate yourself for feeling the way you do. Embrace your emotions so you can eventually let go of them.
3. Cut contact with your crush
If you want to move on, limit contact with your crush. Do not communicate, or at least reduce the amount of time you spend with them. This may be difficult, especially if you study or work with them, but try to maintain as much distance as possible because seeing them less can help you heal sooner.
4. Identify the reason for your feelings
If you cannot cut complete contact, identify what you like in your crush and focus only on that without expecting anything more from them. For example, you may like a person because they are humorous or their fun-loving nature attracts you. It’s okay if you cannot date them; you can still be their friend.
5. Unfollow your crush on social media
Seeing your crush’s happy images with their significant other while you are hurting inside can feel like a dagger piercing through your heart. Save yourself the pain by unfollowing your crush or muting them on all your social media platforms. Do not revisit their old pictures and sigh in dejection.
6. Take a break from social media
It is likely that even after you have unfollowed your crush on social media, you might be tempted to stalk their profiles and check out their latest or even old updates. So, quit social media for a while. Even if it is not your crush, someone else’s lovey-dovey image might upset you, so it is better to keep a safe distance.
7. Look at the situation practically
Your crush is certain to have some flaws, but you are so blinded by your warm feelings that you cannot see the reality. Step out of your fantasy world to have a close look at your crush and see if they are even worthy of your attention. When you acquaint yourself with your crush’s flaws, they may cease to appeal to you.
8. Remember, it is just a phase
No matter what situation you are in today, know that it is not permanent. Remember your first crush in school, and how you cannot even recall their name? Feelings fade with time. As time passes, the hurt you feel today will become less intense or might even vanish.
9. Write down your feelings
An unrequited crush can make you feel let down by yourself. It is best to sort out such negative feelings as soon as possible before it starts taking control of you. Whatever you may be feeling at the moment, write it down. Give your thoughts and feelings an outlet. Let all that pain flow out of you and settle on the paper.
10. Share your feelings with someone trustworthy
Speaking aloud about what weighs on your mind can help you feel lighter. If possible, try to talk about how you feel to someone you trust. It can be a friend, or anyone older than you who you think might guide you the right way. Maybe they have experienced something similar and can help you tackle your situation.
11. Stop talking about your crush
Once you have confided in someone you trust and feel better, it is time you shut your crush from your life. Avoid over-talking and sharing your pain with anyone you meet. Otherwise, you may be reliving your rejection, causing more pain to yourself. Instead, ask those around you to no longer talk about this person in front of you.
12. Love yourself
Rejection may leave you sad, but it is time to love yourself more. So, read a good book, binge-watch your favorite TV series or movies, plan a vacation, and do anything that will lift your spirits.
13. Keep yourself occupied
When your mind is empty, it is bound to think about unwanted topics. Do not leave room for unpleasant memories to bother you. Immerse yourself in work or studies. Work hard to complete projects in time. Put in extra efforts to get yourself something you have always wanted.
14. Do something special for yourself
It is good to be mindful of your expenses, but splurging on yourself once in a while can do wonders for your wellbeing. Make yourself feel special by doing something you have never done before. Try experimenting with your look by coloring your hair, go for a spa treatment, or buy a new gadget you have been eyeing for a while. Pamper yourself because you are worth it.
15. Get involved in enjoyable activities
Have your friends been inviting you to social gatherings or a meet-up? Now is the time to go for it. Do not miss your friend’s party because you feel low. Instead, go for it. Who knows, you might meet someone special there. Do not quit activities that you enjoy doing. Do them to keep your body and mind healthy.
16. Learn something new
Is there something you have wanted to do but procrastinated about for a long time? Well, it is time to do it now. Go, join that pottery class you wanted to join. Learn something new and aim to excel at it. Do it with such passion that you will feel proud of yourself by the end of it and leave behind the disappointment faced in love.
17. Meet new people
Do not rush to replace your crush with someone new, but do not refrain from meeting new people. It does not mean you have to get involved with someone new. Make new friends. Listen to their stories and life experiences. It might help you get a new perspective on life.
18. Give thought to dating
Without rushing, if you feel you are ready to meet someone new who might interest you, do not hold yourself back. You never know; you might end up meeting the partner you have been looking for. And even if it does not work out, it’s okay to continue to work hard to find your true love.
19. Know that you are not alone
Whenever you feel bogged down by negative thoughts, remember you are not the first and certainly not the last person to have an unrequited crush. Remember how desperately Julianne wanted to break her best friend Michael’s wedding in ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding?’ Many of us have had crushes that were out of our reach. So, cut yourself some slack and let it go.
20. Know that it is their loss
Talk to any friend about it, and they will tell you ‘it is their loss.’ And they are not wrong. Do not lose sight of who you are and what you are capable of. If someone does not share your feelings, it does not make you lose your value. Your heartstrings are meant to be tied to the special person meant for you. So, do not feel upset if your crush is not the one.
21. Seek professional support
If you feel overwhelmed by your feelings and cannot manage yourself, then it is best to seek professional help. A qualified counselor can guide you through the low phase. They can help you tap your innermost feelings and address unresolved emotions so you can successfully move on in life.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Why is it so hard to get over a crush?
It could be tough to get over a crush, especially if you had been connected emotionally with that person. You may have been used to constantly approaching them for your emotional needs or spending most of your time with them.
2. How long does the average crush last?
Although it depends on the intensity of your feelings and type of love, a crush could last for minutes to years. Further, a study revealed that an unrequited love (when you have a liking for someone and they do not reciprocate with the same feelings for you) might usually last for about one to one and half years (1).
Having a crush can make you look at life in a different and positive light. But if your feelings are not reciprocated, it can be hard to deal with the situation. Though it feels like the end, your life shouldn’t come to a halt. Rejections are a necessary part of life, and it is important to accept them and move on. Cutting ties with your crush and keeping yourself occupied can help you get over them. More importantly, remember that many people will come and go in your life, so you need to pay more attention to those who stay close to you.
Key Pointers
- To get over a crush, be realistic, accept the difficult situation, and cut all contact with them.
- Sort your emotions by thinking practically, identifying your feelings, and writing them down.
- Remember, it is just a phase that will pass with time. So, love yourself and seek professional help if needed.
References
- Adam Bode and Geoff Kushnick; Proximate and Ultimate Perspectives on Romantic Love
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8074860/
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Read full bio of Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill
