27 Tips For Giving Him Space Without Losing Him

You understand the importance of space in a relationship but are unsure how to give him space. It’s time to learn about one of the most critical things that partners require in a relationship: space. You must know when to give him space if you want a happy and comfortable relationship. Due to lack of space and me-time, many relationships suffer. Even if a man is madly in love, he may choose to ignore you if he feels overwhelmed. Also, having some space creates a chance to miss each other and explore one’s individuality, giving them a sense of autonomy in the relationship, which can be refreshing sometimes. This post includes ideas to offer him space in your relationship without losing him. Also, it gives you some time to focus on yourself.

27 Tips For Giving Your Man Some Space

Giving space to your man might be especially helpful when you have had a fight or when he has become cold and distant. The time spent apart will help both partners to decompress and get back to thinking rationally.

1. Do not call him every second

During the initial stages of the relationship, it is normal to have the urge to call and text your partner many times a day. But, resist the urge and make sure you are giving him some breathing room. If you are always cross about him not messaging or calling you, then you may not be giving him the chance to respond. Avoid overwhelming him by calling four to five times a day. Also, keep the messaging to a minimum.

2. Do not ask too many questions

Where are you going? What are you doing? Who is that woman you are talking to?

You may not have the intention of spying on your man, but if you ask too many questions out of curiosity, it might vex him. While open communication and trust are crucial, and it is not wrong to ask questions, take your time and ask them at the right moment to get the answers without annoying him.

3. Do not be too available

If you are always at his service, he might feel you are obsessed with him. Do not dote on him from the onset. A kind gesture here and there is of course acceptable. Just make sure to seek out a balance between doing things he likes and giving adequate breaks so that he does not perceive you as clingy.

Melissa Alvarez, a relationship and lifestyle blogger from Los Angeles, shares a similar experience with a guy she dated. She writes, “I’ve spent a lot of time analyzing this statement a guy I dated made to me— The problem with you is that you’re too available… I was so available that it was almost a turnoff to date me. I needed to play hard to get in order to be interesting. Instead of readily saying yes to a date, I needed to play coy or make up some plans I had instead. Maybe I didn’t seem like I had a full life — therefore, I didn’t seem like a catch (i).”

Did you know?

Giving each other space in a relationship helps the couple evolve and makes them feel refreshed and rejuvenated.

4. Have a life of your own

If you are in a relationship, then it does not mean that you should not have a life of your own. If you dedicate your entire time to your man, then he might feel the need for space. So, it is good to have your own hobbies, friends, and interests. Who knows it might even impress him more.

5. Never intrude on his personal space

This is something you need to keep in mind early on in the relationship

. Some men take their time to open up, and you must respect that. Do not go snooping around his stuff or checking his mobile phone for no reason. Have patience. When it is time, he will even share his deepest thoughts and secrets.

6. Do not make decisions for him

You would look good in this shirt! Let’s sell your old bike!

Your intentions might be good, but never make his decisions for him. Remember that your boyfriend/husband is a functioning adult who had a life before you. Also, most men may feel stifled if you make decisions for them.

7. Do not nag

Another behavior that may drive your man away is nagging. Though this could be because he hasn’t fixed the kitchen drain, even after repeated reminders or his laziness when it comes to cleanliness, nagging incessantly can be a major irritant. So, rather than getting on his case about every small thing, save your grievances for the most important issues.

Tanya Plattner, an organization enthusiast wife, shares her approach to getting her husband to declutter his closet without constantly nagging him about it. She says, “Instead of nagging him all the time, I started coming up with new ways to encourage him to get rid of clothing. I would hang the clean laundry on the side of the closet he rarely used. That way, his favorite t-shirts weren’t in front of his nose. He had to pick a shirt he rarely wore or dig for his favorite ones. When he caught on and pulled from the other side of the closet, I quit hanging his shirts. I would leave them on the bed and tell him I couldn’t get them in the closet because there wasn’t any room (ii).”

8. Do not move too quickly in the relationship

If your man is taking his time to take next steps, respect his intentions and give him some space. Rather than pushing him into moving in together or popping the question, see if you can divert your attention into making the relationship more enjoyable for both of you.

9. Respect his decisions

If your man makes a decision you like, acknowledge it. This will make him feel important and valued. This does not mean you need to be okay with whatever he says. If you have apprehensions about his decision, initiate an open, calm discussion for better understanding his intentions.

10. Let him have some ‘me’ time

Guys need their personal time. If your man wants to hit the bar with his buddies or go on a fishing trip with his colleagues, then do not get paranoid and stop him. Instead, let him go. You may notice that by giving your man his space, you draw him closer to you. Of course, if he uses this as an excuse to escape from responsibilities, bring your concerns to his attention.

11. Do not try to change him

No two people are the same in a relationship, and that is the beauty of it. A relationship will blossom when both the partners learn to respect the uniqueness of each other. If your man has certain qualities that are not harmful but different, do not try to change them since it might smother his freedom to be himself.

12. Understand he might have other priorities

When he has to cancel your date night due to an unforeseen work emergency, understand that he has to prioritize other aspects of his life at times. Your understanding and support will give him breathing space when trying to balance his job, life, and relationship.

13. Do not get jealous

If your man has many close female friends, do not get jealous or doubt him. Do not let jealousy get the best of you. Nothing suffocates a man more than a girl who is jealous and doubts his every move.

14. Make him miss you

Making him miss you does not mean you disappear when he needs you, but it is to distance yourself and make him reach out to you. For example, if you fought with your man, then give him some space while showing him that you still care. This time you give him will make him forget the fight and look forward to being with you again.

15. Spice up your relationship

Did you know? You can spice up your relationship after you have given your partner some space. Wondering how? You can plan an annual vacation together. No matter where you both are all year long, make sure you make this work. A romantic union after some distance will make your man want more of you.

16. Do not force him to do things you like

Do not force your interests and hobbies on him. For example, if you love rollercoasters, while your partner dreads them, do not insist upon his sharing in this activity. Pressuring a man in the name of love will dampen his relationship enthusiasm, and might push him away. Instead, find out what interests both of you and try doing more of that.

17. Go out with your girl squad

If you find your life revolving around your man, and he has become distant or is ignoring you, then this could be an excellent time to gather your besties and go out for drinks or shopping. This time-out might make him miss you and think about you. And you too can cheer up and take your mind off him for some time.

18. Do not stalk him

You decide to give him space, but deep down,you might be suspicious about what he could be doing during this time. Do not fall into the temptation of stalking him, either in person or on social media. It will rob your peace of mind and also make him unhappy. Show some faith and let him have some space. If he has some ulterior pursuits (like an affair), you will know it eventually without having to resort to stalking.

19. Stop worrying

“What is meant to be yours will always find its way back.”

So, if your man asks for some space and backs out, do not worry about losing him. Give him the time he needs. If you are sure your love for him is pure and genuine, then have confidence that he will eventually come back to you.

Point to consider

Some time apart can help you reflect on your relationship and tread its direction.

20. Do not be dependent on him

When you are in a relationship, you tend to depend on him for several things.It is okay during some major life decisions, but do not become a damsel in distress for trivial matters. Wanting him to help you in your day-to-day activities will leave him exhausted. Give him some space while you tend to some tasks on your own.

21. Do not punish him for wanting space

It might have hurt your feelings when your man asks for space. Try not to take it personally. Wanting space is a normal part of a healthy relationship. There are times when we all need time to deal with things alone, and getting that space just might bring you closer together.

22. It is not because of you

When a man says he needs space, it’s common to wonder if there is something we’ve done to push them away. But, this may not be the case. Your man probably wants some alone time to recharge or finish some errands. Do not overthink it and ruin your happiness. If you are curious, you can always ask him the reason politely without insisting upon a satisfying answer.

23. Say no to unreasonable requests

While giving some ‘me’ time to your man is healthy, giving into his selfish requests is unfair. If he wants to leave you with your newborn baby to go on a trip to Las Vegas, then this is unacceptable. Try to set some healthy emotional boundaries between giving space and escaping responsibilities.

24. Accept his decision to need space

If your man said he wants space, then do not become sacred and beg him to stay, instead, accept his decision and let him go. During this time, focus on your own life and try to be a happy and positive person. Take up new hobbies that build your self-confidence. This time away will also give you a chance to look at the relationship from a different perspective.

25. Eventually, ask him why

It is not advisable to ask him why he needs space right away.Take your time and ask the question at the right time. It is your right to know why he needed some space. After a few days, sit with him and discuss it. If he opens up, then be receptive to his views and arrive at any changes through mutual understanding.

26. Practice empathy

Be considerate of their wants and needs. If they ask for space, show appreciation for their honesty. Thank them sincerely for sharing their needs, which can make them feel more at ease. This may motivate them to focus on self-care, pursue personal goals, or engage in hobbies. Additionally, be a good listener and try to understand their perspective. Show your nurturing and caring side while giving them space. Also, talk to them to understand work and home-related worries that might be affecting them.

27. No chasing

It’s essential not to chase him to not lose him. Often, when we sense someone slipping away, the instinct is to draw them closer for fear of losing them. However, this approach can backfire, pushing him further away. Remember, you don’t need to chase him. If he genuinely wants to be with you, he will come back on his own. Allow him the space for that, and things can turn in your favor.

Infographic: Why Is It Important To Give Your Partner Space?

While doing things together with your partner helps you strengthen your bond, it is also vital that you give each other space to do your own thing. But why is it so important to give your partner some space? We answer that question in the following infographic. So, make sure that you give it a read and also save it for the time when you would like to refresh the reasons for it again.

Illustration: The Bridal Box Design Team

Learn the art of creating space in your relationship so that he misses you and comes back! Uncover effective strategies to provide him the necessary room while still keeping him interested.

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Reviewer Editor Fact Checker

Dr. Maggie C. VaughanMT, PhD

 

Dr. Maggie C. Vaughan is an NYC-based marriage and family therapist with 15 years of clinical experience. In addition to her private practice, Dr. Vaughan acts as founder and executive director of Happy Apple®, a Midtown Manhattan psychotherapy center.

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Shikha Thakur

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Benidamika J Latam

Benidamika holds a masters degree in Counseling Psychology from Assam Don Bosco University and another masters degree in English Literature from North Eastern Hill University. At MomJunction, Benidamika writes on human psychology and relationships.

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