How To Stop Loving Someone – 13 Ways To Help You Move On
Mark Rosenfeld is a renowned author, keynote speaker, and a leading dating and relationship coach for women in Australia. He aims to empower his clients to take control of their love lives and discover genuine companionship through straightforward techniques and a systematic approach.
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sneha tete Sneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relationships and lifestyle.Sneha began her career as an instructional designer, shifted to freelance technical and research writing, and self-published a novella on the theme of adolescent mental health.
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asmita de Asmita De is an associate editor with over three years of experience. She graduated in English Literature from the University of Calcutta. She has collaborated with several digital companies and reputed publishing houses as an editor.
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gracia odile Gracia Odile is a teacher-turned-beauty and lifestyle writer with three years of professional experience. She has a bachelor's degree in English from St. Stephen's College, a master's in Anthropology from the University of Madras, and a degree in education from GGSIPU.
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In This Article
Love is a beautiful feeling until it gets into the rough waters of a breakup. So, if you recently broke up and don’t know how to stop loving someone, fret not. We have got your back. As love doesn’t happen overnight, in the same way, forgetting your ex will take some time. Getting over someone you love isn’t easy, but sometimes, it needs to be done for the welfare of both.
Moving on is difficult but not impossible. It calls for a set of changes in your life and some patience. This article explains in detail how you can get over a relationship by following some steps. Continue reading to know more.
How Do You Stop Loving Someone?
1. Think About The Reality
One of the hardest parts of falling out of love is accepting your situation for what it is. Everyone is entitled to their feelings, and sometimes an individual may not reciprocate yours. In other instances, the issues you and your partner face might be too apparent to ignore.
It is important to sit down and acknowledge the reality of the situation while understanding that nothing can change it. This will enable you to make peace with the broken relationship and prepare better for your life ahead.
2. Accept The Role Of The Individual
The people we meet often impact us long after their absence. You may prevent yourself from enjoying certain things simply because your ex introduced you to them. However, that may not always be the best way to stop loving someone. The act of not doing something can make you think about them even more. Instead, take a moment to appreciate your partner’s role in your life. This will help you better accept the situation and move on.
3. Acknowledge Your Needs
Relationships and romantic love are usually more nuanced than they are given credit for. People often put their needs on the back burner to make their partners happy. While this may be required in certain situations, doing it all the time can make the relationship toxic and bitter.
Therefore, write down everything you want from a relationship and acknowledge that your partner does not fulfill many of these needs. This will help you put the entire situation into perspective and better understand what to expect from your future relationships.
4. Limit Your Interaction With The Person
Getting over someone can be difficult if you see them frequently. Follow the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ rule to prevent this. Have an honest conversation with your partner and request some time away from them. If you have to see them often, such as in a get-together or office, try changing your seating to limit your interaction. It is also best to stop any friendly social outings that involve this individual.
5. Move Away From Self-Blame
Dealing with a breakup is not easy. It can often lead to over-scrutinize the role you played in our relationship’s downfall. Although you must acknowledge your faults, hyper-focusing on it can cause stress and self-esteem issues. Consider talking about your problems with a therapist to help you gain the closure you are looking for. They can help you get in touch with your emotions, suggest coping strategies, and support you in your journey of healing. They can also give you an unbiased view of your past relationship, offer emotional support, and improve personal growth.
6. Focus On Yourself
We tend to spend less time on ourselves and more on our partners. But focusing on ourselves is the first step towards moving on from someone who doesn’t love you anymore. So, keep the focus on you and act opposite to love for a while. It simply means redirecting love towards yourself. Prioritizing yourself might feel a bit challenging in the start but you will eventually start seeing results. Learning to appreciate your own company will help give you a new level of happiness and make it easier for you to heal and move on.
Try out things that you could not do previously because of your partner. Catch up with your friends and have more self-care days. If something makes you happy, we highly recommend doing it.
Quick Tip7. Box Anything That Reminds You Of Them
Yes, we know that this tip is cliche, but it is an important one. Memorabilia, while a great thing to have, can make the moving-on process extremely hard. If you wonder how to get over someone you love deeply, box up anything and everything that reminds you of your once special person. This includes pictures, gifts, movie stamps, and any other token from your time together. Not only will you find the process cathartic, but it also enables you to start afresh.
A survey conducted with 1,000 American adults focussed on breakups and found that 11% chose to get rid of all items associated with their former partner, including gifts. 44% also mentioned that they would return their partner’s possessions. This suggests that individuals adopt a strategy of removing reminders of their past relationships as part of their coping mechanism or moving on after a breakup.
8. Distract Yourself
When trying to get over someone who does not love you, distraction is key. If you are not careful, you can become easily obsessed with someone you love, making it difficult for you to get over the person. To avoid this, try to distract yourself in the following ways.
- Spend time with your family
- Go for trekking, hiking, and camping
- Try out new interests and hobbies
This enables you to spend more time with those who love you and less time thinking about someone who does not. And if you can get a new talent out of it, that’s another bonus for you.
Quick Tip9. Talk About It With Your Gang
Seek your friends and close people and discuss your issues with them. Not only will they be able to give you some useful advice, but they also leave the conversation feeling both seen and heard.
10. Start Meditating
It may seem like an unusual piece of advice, but taking some time to meditate every day is a must. Mindfulness enables you to process any negative emotions in a controlled environment. Furthermore, the positive affirmations acknowledged during the session can help increase your love for yourself. We also suggest enrolling in a yoga or a live meditation class if you require a personal instructor to talk you through the entire process.
Pro Tip11. Exercise Is Imperative
Exercise is crucial for your physical health and mental health. Anecdotal evidence shows a clear link between exercise and the release of endorphins. These ‘happy hormones’ are known for uplifting your mood and making you feel better. If you do not want to fall into a regular fitness regime, look for alternate ways. Learn how to ride a horse, how to rock climb, or join dance classes.
12. Plan Your Future
Picturing your life without your special person is hard, and you can end up feeling stuck. The best way to deal with it is to face it head-on. Envision the rest of your life and make plans to accomplish your goals.
Instead of committing to a 10-year plan, start with something small like planning your dream vacation. This will be relatively easy to achieve and boost the extra motivation you need to make bigger, long-term plans.
13. Feel Your Feelings
The greatest temptation during the pain of a breakup is simply to avoid the pain of the breakup. After all, a breakup hurts and most of us do not want to deal with that pain. However, feeling the emotions and dealing with that pain is the best thing you can do. It helps expand your emotional capacity and saves time. Think of it like a storm. If you constantly run away from a chasing storm, you spend more time in the long run anxiously avoiding it. If you stop running and let it hit you, it hits hard, but it’s over more quickly. By fully feeling your feelings and sitting in the eye of the emotional storm, you will come out of the other side quicker than you think.
A broken heart takes time to heal. There is no quick fix. However, there are quite a few things you could do to get over a heartbreak. First, it will help to acknowledge the permanence of the breakup and separate yourself from your ex. It would mean getting rid of all their reminders. You could also talk to a confidante or see a therapist to deal with your situation. Another great way to stop loving someone is to start loving yourself. Exercising, meditating, and acknowledging your needs and goals are healthy self-care practices that will help you build yourself up. You need kindness and love from yourself the most. So, hang on tight and trust the process. Take care.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you stop loving someone and then fall back in love with them?
It is possible to stop loving someone and fall in love with them again. However, this should never be the goal. Whether or not it is right in your situation will be determined by unknown future events and previous relationship dynamics shared by the two of you.
Key Takeaways
- The first and foremost step to stop loving someone is to focus on reality and accept that your partner is not healthy for you anymore.
- Another great way to move on is having very little to no interaction with your ex.
- Instead, take this time to focus on yourself and plan your life ahead.
Getting over someone you can’t be with can be emotionally draining. Don’t beat yourself over, and watch this video with tips on how you can stop loving those you can’t be with or those who are not good for you.
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