7 Crazy Places People Have Sex. But Shouldn’t
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Warm beds with silken sheets and bathtubs with just the right temperature water and a glass of bubbly at hand – these are most people’s go to options when it comes to planning a night of romantic lovemaking. Given, however, that such avenues aren’t always at hand, and the fact that sometimes we as a people just want to get down and dirty with it means that people end up having sex in a lot of common places, places that we have sometimes been led to believe are great places to do the deed, while in fact the opposite is true. Some are dangerous, while others are, uh, logistically contrived? Anyway, here’s our list of the top 10 places to avoid having sex at, if you can help it.
1. An Airplane Bathroom
Let’s face it, most of us at some point or the other have thought about joining the mile high club. It’s all over late night television, for starters, and it’s been glamorized by everything from beauty magazines to athletic shoe ads. But is it really all that? Let’s see. Contorting and twisting your body into all kinds of shapes in a cramped public toilet (which is what it is, at the end of the day) just to get some stratospheric action.. doesn’t seem all that bad does it? Just hope that the last one who used the loo practiced good etiquette, and as for turbulence, it’s best not to think about it too much.
[Read More: 5 Times You Are Bound To End Up Having Sex. Without Trying Too Hard]
2. The Shower
Another popular sexy time spot when it comes to popular culture and the media has to be the shower. Steamy scenes in movies involving silhouettes and foggy glass really get us going, but let;s just break it down here for a second. If you’ve got access to a shower, you’ve probably got access to some kind of bed, or other walled enclosed space – one where the risk of slipping and breaking your neck is much lower. And however acrobatic you and your partner may be, the odds of landing on your behind (or worse) are accentuated by the presence of you know, soap and water. Just remember how hard it is washing the undersides of one foot when balanced on the other, and we’re sure you’ll agree.
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3. In An Elevator
Again, this is one of those spots where thoughts of steamy intercourse should be left to just those… thoughts. Why? Well, for starters, most modern lifts have security cameras installed in them, so unless you plan to be a part of the building maintenance teams’ raunchy video playlist, you may consider stepping out and looking at other options. What about those old, rickety lifts with no cameras and and solid doors? Well, let;s just say that unless you’re keen on the landlord, your boss, or the cleaning lady to be privy to your partiular brand of sexy talk and underwear, it’s just better to leave things at a quick kiss or two.
[Read More: 7 Things That Women Want In Bed That You Should Know]
4. In Your Room (With The Roommate Sleeping In The Next Bed)
Sometimes, we’re really out of options, and often the roommate in question is particularly chill. Still though, call us old fashioned, but unless you and your lover are dying to tear off each others clothes and ravage each other’s bodies, we recommend you do the halfway decent thing and buy them a movie ticket, fork over some dinner money and surrender the keys to your bike. Or you know, plan in such a way that they’re not around? We don’t know.
5. The Hospital
It sounds so romantic. You visit your lover who is beset with a troubling but non communicable illness, and things end up getting steamy. Except, you’re in a hospital and in the bed right next to the one you’re getting undressed on is a gingerly old man who’s been threatening to kick the bucket for the last two weeks. And the nurses aren’t sexy little things in tight skirts, but underpaid, overworked healthcare professionals who are trying to remember if they gave the old man his angina medicine or slipped him the viagra meant for the cranky old coon in the clinic.
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6. The Public Pool
Okay, so there’s no one there, the water is freezing and it’s just the two of you that decide to take temperatures up a notch. Let’s consider some statistics, more that 90 percent of everyone who uses the pool ends up relieving themselves…. You know what, let’s ignore the statistics. Just take our word on this one.
[Read More: 7 Real Life Stories That Show How True Love Can Be Found In The Most Unlikely Ways & Places]
7. A Dark Alley
Sleazeheads and thrill seekers everywhere often fantasize about being soovercome with passion that they just have to slipinto to a dark noor and cranny somewhere, and no we don’t mean… Never mind. The fact is that if you don’t end up getting mugged, stabbed, caught by the cops, bitten by dogs or stepping on rusty needles and razors, harrased bythe homeless or attacked by rodents, the alley is actually a pretty good spot to have sex.
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