10 Signs Of A Healthy Relationship And How To Build One

People often search for perfection in everything like the perfect partner, relationship, and life but ignore signs of a healthy relationship. Unfortunately, many of us have forgotten the fact that nothing in this world is perfect. You can indeed get close to a faultless life but can never attain it fully. When it comes to love, everyone hopes for a healthy relationship.

Two main pillars which balance a relationship are trust and honesty, followed by open conversations, give and take respect policy between the partners. These are the main things that help the relationship grow, maintain emotional stability, and help you defeat the challenges which you might face to make a relationship work. Along with these, there are a few other key signs that help build a healthy relationship. Keep reading.

10 Signs Of A Healthy Relationship

There are times in every relationship where one of the people that are involved may start wondering, “Is my relationship a healthy relationship?” Here are some signs you should look out for.

1. Trust And Honesty: Trust and honesty build the framework of a healthy relationship. Unless you and your partner can trust each other, entrust your secrets to each other, and be honest about your thoughts, feelings, and opinions, the relationship will not move forward. You are a team, and a team works only when there’s trust between the members, i.e., the two of you. Trusting someone is being able to count on them to always be by your side when you are troubled, sad, anxious, happy, celebrating, and everything in between.

2. 2. Mutual Respect: Respect is shown through actions, not words. It is evident in the small acts of support, honesty, and compromise, respecting boundaries, and how you handle disagreements. If they force their opinions on you, snoop through your things or phone, or hound you to behave differently, it shows that they don’t respect you. “Agree to disagree” is a great motto to follow to respect the differences in your opinions.

Quick Tip

Mutual respect extends to how you treat each other in public. Constantly roasting each other to show you are a “cool” couple is unhealthy. It gives a message to outsiders that they are free to treat your partner the same way.

3. Good Communication: Communication is the key to maintaining any relationship. Unless you talk about the things that bother you or make you uncomfortable, your partner won’t understand it. Therefore, talking to them and explaining your perspective to them is essential for them to understand you. Do not hesitate to speak your mind in front of them. After all, they are in the relationship because they support your decisions.

There are two aspects of communication that you need to be mindful of:

• Listening: Communication also involves listening to the other person, not just talking. You need to listen and understand what the other person is saying. Sometimes, your partner may only want you to listen to them quietly instead of offering them solutions.

• Healthy Conflict: A healthy relationship does not mean no arguments. It includes having healthy conflicts where you both get to voice your opinions, even when you both don’t agree. However, it does not involve raising your voice, getting angry, or physical fights. This also includes reigning in your anger during a conflict and trying to find a solution to the problem together.

2. Independence/Individuality: When you are in a relationship, you and your partner are in a team against the rest of the world. This does not mean you forget your individual goals, aspirations, wants, needs, or opinions for the sake of the other. Individual growth and development are a must to prosper in a relationship as well as in the world. It cannot just be either you or your partner thriving in the world while the other is left behind. It is more about supporting each other to grow every day. Here are a couple of things you need to foster:

• Self-Confidence: Your self-confidence builds up when you are surrounded by people that support your growth and progress. Do not settle for any relationship that diminishes your personal growth.

• Spend Time Together: You don’t have to play pretend. When you are accepted as you are, you feel comfortable around your partner. You can be yourself without feeling the need to hide some aspect of yourself or feeling scared of getting judged. This also allows you to love spending time together.

Kristy, a blogger, shared her experience of dating her then-boyfriend and now husband, when they were on two different continents. She writes, “We kept on talking and running up massive phone bills thanks to long-distance texting/calling and Jesse started saving to come to Australia so we could meet in person for the first time (i).”

5. Equality: A relationship works when both you and your partner treat each other equally. This comes with sharing the chores around the house, deciding things together, and following through with what you planned together without being impulsive. The power dynamic can keep shifting in the relationship, but it should never tilt too much one way or the other.
6. Support And Understanding: Individual goals are as important as the shared values and goals of your relationship. Therefore, you need to offer constant support for everything your partner does, and vice versa. Supporting each other in achieving individual goals also helps you work toward the shared goals you may have.
7. Realistic Expectations: One can only live up to another’s expectations for a certain amount of time. After that, there’s only so much you can do to keep that relationship going. Therefore, you and your partner should set realistic expectations for yourselves, each other, and the relationship.
8. Taking Responsibility: This entails being responsible for the things you have done and making up for them. Shirking responsibility will not help you, them, or the relationship. This also includes fighting fair – i.e., not using low-blows like the insecurities of the other person or insulting them.
9. Healthy Sexual Relationship: You and your partner need to respect each other’s sexual preferences or kinks and create a safe space to explore them. Demeaning what one likes is a bad move and shows that the other person does not value you. Forcing you into something you are not comfortable with also shows that they don’t respect you enough to accept your preferences. Consent is important in everything you do.
10. Other Relationships: The people around you affect your relationship. Therefore, fostering all your other relationships in a healthy manner also improves your romantic relationship.

Now that you know the signs of a healthy relationship, you should also learn what are the red flags that make a relationship unhealthy.

Red Flags In A Relationship

A healthy relationship should give you a sense of happiness, fulfillment, and contentment. But if you constantly feel anxious, stressed, doubtful, or unhappy with your partner or about your relationship, it may be time to reanalyze your relationship. Below are some red flags that you need to start watching out for in your relationship:

• Your partner tries to control or change you.
• They do not respect your boundaries despite you clearly stating them.
• You put in more effort to make the relationship work but they don’t.
• They intentionally say hurtful things or criticize you without caring about your feelings.
• Your concerns, well-being, and emotions go unheard.
• You do not feel comfortable enough to be yourself around them.
• Your partner does not make an effort to resolve arguments.

Building a healthy relationship is not as hard as it seems, but it does require a bit of work. Find out what you need to do in the next section.

How To Build A Healthy Relationship

What is a healthy relationship? A healthy relationship is where you feel safe, comfortable, respected, and cherished, and even the slightest feeling of discomfort can be communicated openly. This does not mean there are no arguments. Every relationship has its ups and downs – this shows that there is progress in the relationship. Healthy conflict is even encouraged to voice your opinions.

Here’s how you can build a healthy relationship:

1. 1. Dealing With Conflicts – Try to stay calm and rational when dealing with a conflict. Avoid the blame game. Instead, try to come up with solutions for the problems you are facing together. Address the problem instead of running away from it. If you can’t seem to come to a solution, take a step back and seek professional help.

1. 1. Intimacy – Intimacy does not only mean sex. Emotional intimacy is also important in a relationship. The feeling of being close to the other person makes you feel safe and comfortable. Achieving that is the key to a successful relationship.
   2. Love Language – You need to understand each other’s love language to maintain the relationship. Once you learn their patterns of showing love, you’ll see the effort they put into the relationship more clearly. Moreover, you can reciprocate their acts of love in a way that they love, and vice versa.
   3. Affection – Affection is shown not only through words but also actions. Making a note of small details (like what makes them happy, which songs they like, the things that make them smile, their favorite dish/drink/ice cream) and surprising them every now and then shows that you pay attention to them.
   4. Appreciation – Appreciate the things that they do for you. A simple ‘thank you’ for something they cooked or some annoying chore that they took care of can go a long way in showing your appreciation and gratitude to them.

1. Keep Things Interesting – A routine might make things boring for either one of you. A surprise here, a holiday there, a spontaneous date once in a while, and trying to spice things up in the bedroom can keep the spark alive in your relationship.

Quick Tip

Also, understand the importance of a matching sense of humor. You do not have to be a clown for your partner. Just know what is okay and not okay to joke about. You do not want to end up hurting your partner instead of getting a good laugh.

There are three C’s that you need to follow to build a healthy relationship. Learn more about it in the next section.

What Are the Three C’s In A Healthy Relationship?

The three C’s that build a healthy relationship are:

• Communication: Communication is essential for the relationship to survive. Talking to each other about things that bother you, listening to them, understanding where they are coming from, and not holding back because you think it’ll damage the relationship are important ways to build communication. If minor problems break a relationship, it was never meant to come as far as it did in the first place. Healthy conflicts and playful teasing are great ways to keep things light and on track when the going gets tough.
• Compromise: Compromise is important to establish a common ground of shared experiences and goals. But, it does not mean getting overshadowed by the presence of the other person. It is more about accepting your differences and respecting the boundaries you have established for yourselves.
• Commitment: Commitment to the relationship involves putting in the effort to make it work. Just one person making an effort for two will doom the relationship. It should be a balance of sharing responsibilities and pushing each other towards individual growth. Prioritizing the relationship is essential for it to thrive.

Infographic: 6 Clear Signs Of A Healthy Relationship

While you may be trying to make your relationship perfect, you can miss out on the green flags that make it a healthy one. If you already have a beautiful thing with your partner but wish to know the obvious signs to reassure you that you are in a positive relationship, check out the infographic below!

Illustration: The Bridal Box Design Team

Frequently Asked Questions

What does healthy love feel like?

In a healthy love, you both enjoy each other’s company and bring out the best in each other. There is no imbalance of power, and you feel confident about yourself and your relationship.

What are 4 of the qualities required for a healthy relationship?

Trust, communication, honesty, and respect are the four most important qualities required for a healthy relationship.

What is most attractive in a partner?

It varies from person to person. Some of the factors that play a major role in determining the attractiveness of a partner include their personality, intelligence, sense of humor, fashion style, etiquette, confidence level, charm, and physical appearance.

What are the 4 types of relationships?

The 4 major types of relationships include romantic, platonic, familial, and professional.

What are some red flags to look out for in an unhealthy relationship?

Some of the major red flags to look out for in a relationship are lack of trust, physical or verbal abuse, controlling or manipulative behavior, unfaithfulness, no consideration for personal boundaries, constant criticism, and lack of communication.

What are some healthy boundaries to set in a relationship?

Consider setting emotional, physical, financial, and digital boundaries. Determine how much of your life are you willing to share with your partner and how much you want your partner to involve you in theirs.

Illustration: Signs Of A Healthy Relationship And How To Build One

Image: Stable Diffusion/The Bridal Box Design Team

A healthy relationship is built on trust, respect, and communication. Learn the 8 signs of a healthy relationship in the video below and welcome utmost harmony and happiness. Check it out!

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Ellen J.W. GigliottiLMFT

     

Ellen J.W. Gigliotti is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 20 years of experience and the owner of a private practice therapy group in Pennsylvania, US. She is a former journalist and is currently finalizing her first book.

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Sneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relationships and lifestyle.Sneha began her career as an instructional designer, shifted to freelance technical and research writing, and self-published a novella on the theme of adolescent mental health.

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