This Is What Infertility Does To Your Sex Life
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Doesn’t everyone tell you how the most fun part of pregnancy is when you are trying? But, for anyone who has tried too many times to get pregnant and still haven’t heard the good news, you know that it is not the best feeling in the world. In fact, it surely takes the fun out of the lovemaking in several ways. Especially the moment you realize that it is not about ‘when’ anymore, it is more about ‘if’ you succeed.
All of a sudden, the pressure grows and the stakes increase. You will find yourself making efforts to become intimate with your partner. But then, the shroud of desperation will engulf you. This desperation is what will make you feel united in some ways and then different in other ways. And, with every month that brings you disappointment, this feeling might only become more impenetrable.
You will soon find your friends, who you have confided in, cracking jokes. They might even tease the both of you about how you must be having so much fun. While you put up a brave front and smile, the smile does not reach your eyes. As you pretend to nod in agreement, there is something inside you that might wither just a little bit. And, gradually, you might find yourself hiding the fact that you are trying. You might even make up some excuse to please others for why the child has not yet arrived. For example, how you want to enjoy some more time with your partner before you welcome kids into your life. As cliché as it might sound, it may help keep those unsolicited remarks at bay.
Lovemaking might even become clinical. After all, it is not really possible to lose yourself in passionate physical intimacy when you know that the entire act itself has become so mechanical. And, perhaps, the thought of having to discuss these ‘private’ details with your specialist won’t make it any bit easier.
Your relatives and close friends are surely going to be generous with their advice. They will tell you to relax, enjoy, and just go with the flow. But, is it really possible to just enjoy when you are not able to achieve the goal that you really wish to? How can you have fun when lovemaking is not about the mood anymore? How do you unwind if doing it at the ‘right time’ is what is running through your mind always?
It becomes a compulsion to schedule the lovemaking, much like a doctor’s appointment or getting your car serviced. And, it seems also as mundane as any of these tasks. So, now it is not about sexual functionality anymore. It will revolve more around things like ovulation window, the correct body temperature, or even the texture of the cervical mucus. You will find yourself making charts and plans to schedule your lovemaking. Doesn’t really sound inspiring, right?
You might not even feel very good about yourself. If you have been prescribed synthetic hormones by your doc, you might even feel bloated due to these pills. Above all, the fact that your body is unable to do stuff that it has been designed to do might make you feel pretty frustrated.
Of course, you will make efforts to stay positive and believe in yourself. But then, the devil hormones will take over, making you feel all helpless. And, you might even try to associate every little thing you do to your chances of having a baby. These thoughts will take up all your mind space. And, you are also not going to like the fact that you are so obsessed about it.
However, remember that it will happen when it is meant to happen. Until then, it is essential that you try and make things as easy as possible for both you and your partner. Yes, it is easier said than done. But, try to spice things up so that you can bring out your fun and passionate side. Deep down, you know that you are not going to quit just because it is not fun anymore. So, try not to let it pull you down. All the best, ladies!
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