What Is A Platonic Relationship And How To Make It Work?

A Platonic relationship is a bond shared by two people, that is not sexual or romantic. You can see true love and wisdom in this type of love. It is named after the Greek philosopher Plato. In search of true love, most people overlook the importance of platonic love and relationships. Although many do not realize the beauty of such bonds and relationships, there is so much safety and comfort in them. Also, romantic relationships are the opposite of platonic relationships. This article explores the benefits and characteristics of platonic love and relationships. Scroll down for more information.

Quick Tip

Plato believed that platonic love could bring people closer to divine ideals and that it is pure, soul-connected, and is the highest form of love.

What Is Platonic Love?

Platonic love is a special emotional and spiritual relationship between people. It comes from a similar view of the world or common interests and fosters a deep connection and mutual admiration for each other. This is love without any sexual or romantic ties. It is more of an emotional and intellectual connection that binds people. Platonic relationships may turn sexual or romantic, but many mental health professionals strongly suggest against it because if done wrong, it may disrupt the dynamics, communication, and the relationship itself.

Quick Tip

Platonic relationships can also be classified into 3 types: bromance, which is a non-sexual relationship between 2 men, womance, which is an emotional non-sexual relationship between 2 women, and work-spouse, which is used to describe a non-sexual bond between 2 colleagues.

Here are some factors of a platonic relationship:

1. Attraction: Here, attraction is not physical (neither romantic nor sexual). You instead feel drawn to the person due to their intelligence or views about certain things.
2. Intimacy: Emotional intimacy brings people closer. It is found in platonic relationships through mutually shared feelings, reactions, and concerns. This helps deepen the trust and understanding in the relationship.
3. Respect: Mutual admiration and respect for each other will help foster a healthy friendship that helps you build each other up.
4. Support: Support is what lets people thrive. Such friendships give people a feeling of knowing that they can always depend and fall back on these friends.
5. Pleasure: Enjoying the company of another person is one way of investing in a platonic relationship. You may enjoy the sense of humor you both have, views of the world, or intellect. This further strengthens the foundation of your platonic love.

Platonic love has so many health benefits. We will explore the same in the following section.

Health Benefits Of Platonic Relationships

Human beings are inherently social. They crave connections and social interactions with others, which, in turn, boosts their mental well-being. This is one reason psychologists encourage platonic relationships as they keep people feeling connected and heard. Following are some of the benefits that come from having platonic relationships:

• Decreases Risk Of Mortality

Loneliness is found to reduce life expectancy (1). People who feel loved have a decreased risk of depression, high cholesterol, and anxiety. Having someone you can share your inner thoughts and feelings with and knowing that you can depend on them may lower your stress levels. This could promote longevity.

• Increases Oxytocin

Oxytocin is often referred to as the ‘love hormone’ and is linked to a feeling of well-being (2). It brings that warm feeling within and may also serve as an anti-anxiety drug. This is a hormone that promotes social bonding.

• Promotes Mental Health

There is a link between dementia and increased loneliness in older people (3). This feeling of loneliness, as opposed to being alone, can contribute to cognitive decline.

• Provides A Support System

Everyone lives on and needs support systems. Having people around you that love and care for you may also influence you to make better choices. Your platonic relationships may serve as your compass, guiding you to be your best. Because of the love, mutual respect, and admiration you share with each other, you are more likely to give each other honest advice.

• Increases A Sense Of Belonging

Platonic love may make you feel connected spiritually to each other, giving you a feeling of belonging. Such friendships can make you believe in a higher purpose or even help you find your own.

The benefits of platonic love sure tell us that it is worth cultivating and nurturing. But how can you separate it from other forms of love? Knowing the characteristics of platonic love can help.

Characteristics Of Platonic Love

• Unfiltered Honesty

When it comes to romantic feelings or love, many times, honesty could take a hit as people worry about how they would be perceived if they were completely honest. Platonic love, on the other hand, thrives on honesty. It helps build a relationship that can go through rough times and make it even better. With platonic love, you may feel like you can talk just about anything with the person, unafraid about judgment.

• Respected Boundaries

In such relationships, you gain a keen understanding of the boundaries you both have and learn how to respect them. You do not hold the other person to the same standards as romantic relationships, so you know that there are more boundaries to acknowledge. These could be emotional or physical boundaries. Remember that each platonic relationship has a different set of rules, depending on the people involved.

• No Expectations

A factor of many conflicts in romantic relationships is expectations. You may want a romantic partner to behave a certain way with you and may count many things as a breach of your relationship and trust. But with platonic love, you hold no such expectations from them. You know that they do not owe you anything but rather choose your friendship. Since the bar of expectations in platonic relationships is much lower, it may also be easy to forgive any associated lapses.

• Selflessness

Platonic love that genuinely pushes each other be the best version of themselves. You learn to celebrate each other and derive genuine joy from your accomplishments. A lot of your actions may purely be just to benefit them, and not you. Romantic love, on the other hand, may get caught on to the idea of owning a person or belonging to them – and may be driven by jealousy, insecurity, and distrust.

Remember that platonic love is easy and comes naturally, leading to life-long friendships. But romantic love may have complex dynamics to work through.

How To Maintain A Platonic Relationship

Maintaining platonic relationships involves devoting time to get to know each other better on a deeper level. All relationships take work and effort, but the end results and satisfaction derived from them are worth it. Here is how you can maintain platonic relationships or friendships.

• Make Time For Them

Time is the best gift you can give someone. Make time to talk and connect with your friend. Honor your commitments. Your schedule may be quite busy, but make sure to allocate some time to meet or talk to them weekly.

• Share Personal Information

The best way to get someone to open up is to open up yourself. Since platonic love relies on a deeper understanding and emotional connection with each other, sharing experiences close to your heart that have made you who you are is a good way to go. This does not mean you share things that make you uncomfortable. But you can share what you feel would be relevant to the situation and what you are comfortable with.

• Be There For Them

Your platonic friends may reach out for help once in a while, and that is a great way to deepen your connection. Them reaching out to you shows that they trust you enough to be there for them – always honor this. You might be worried about how to help them – but remember that even just listening to them can help them release their stress and share their burdens.

What If Your Platonic Relationship Becomes Romantic?

Platonic relationships can often turn romantic if one or both people have a romantic attraction to each other. It is well and good if you both decide to move on to a romantic relationship – but remember that you will have to navigate new waters. Keep the following pointers in mind:

• Your expectations from each other will change – whether it is showing up to events or your relationship with certain people. A lot may have to be relooked at when you both enter a romantic relationship.
• Your dynamics may change, at least in the first few months of a romantic relationship. Do not worry, though. You should be able to figure things out as time passes.
• In a platonic relationship, you may not mind if you do not talk or meet for quite a while. But this may change with a romantic relationship as your expectations of each other grow and change.

On the other hand, it may so happen that neither of you are interested in pursuing a romantic relationship despite your platonic feelings turning romantic. What do you do then?

• Be prepared for some stress in your relationship. You may feel awkward too. You may avoid each other and seem to over-explain things to each other.
• Be open and honest about your feelings. Discuss them together so that you are both aware of the perspectives you both hold. More importantly, learn to respect each other’s views. A lot of stress can come from assumptions – and discussions can help put a lot of them to rest.
• Establish boundaries that suit both of you. Keep both your feelings in mind and avoid making rash decisions.
• Till you both return to the platonic dynamic, it is best to limit your interactions.
• Refrain from having conversations on sex and relationships for a while.
• Watch what you say to each other and be mindful about how you treat each other.

Are Platonic Friendships Possible?

While movies and fiction may tell you otherwise, not all platonic friendships lead to romance. Think about your best friend with whom a platonic relationship has worked beautifully (unless you are in love with them romantically, of course) – and you would know that it is possible to have platonic friendships.

Be honest about your motives and goals. If you became friends with an intent to turn the relationship romantic, you may be hurt as you end up putting a lot of pressure on this ‘platonic’ friend.

Tayleur, a blogger, pens down a letter filled with love and gratitude for whom she calls her “Platonic Soulmate” in her personal blog. She appreciates the person for staying by her side in this beautiful platonic friendship and she says, “I feel that being together whether intimately or romantically would force an uncomfortable, awkward atmosphere down our throats and with a gut feeling as strong as this that it wouldn’t feel right, I’m incredibly pleased that it’s staying that way (i).”

How To Make A Platonic Friendship Work

Here is how to make a platonic friendship work:

• Understand different friendship needs. Take the time to gauge and understand your needs as well as the needs of the other person.
• Be clear about your intentions. This can save you both a lot of time and confusion. Being clear about what you feel and where you stand will also contribute to more honest communication in your friendship.
• Stay with the ones that feel like a solid foundation. Go with your gut. If the motives and goals for your friendship do not match, feel free to gently, but firmly, savor the friendship. It only would be in the best interest of you both.

Although platonic love and friendship may appear similar, there is a subtle difference between these two. Know more in the section below.

Platonic Relationship Vs. Friendship

Friendship and platonic love are mostly similar, yet they have some differences. Friendship is when you get along well with someone, share interests, and support each other. It can be casual or close. Platonic love goes a bit deeper. It is like a really strong friendship but without any hint of romantic feelings. Platonic love is about having a deep connection with someone, caring about them a lot, and feeling emotionally close. So, while friendships can be all sorts of connections, platonic love is that special, deep bond that is more than just a regular friendship.

Quick Tip

One of the important rules in a platonic relationship is to not complain or gossip about your spouse or partner, and to never hide your platonic friends and the relationship from your partner.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can platonic friends cuddle?

It is usual for platonic friends to cuddle. Just make sure there is consent and comfort.

Can a soulmate be platonic?

Yes, a soulmate can be platonic. You may not be romantically involved with someone but still, feel a deep sense of bonding and share mutual understanding.

Is platonic love rare?

Although platonic love seems rare, it is gradually becoming common now.

What is platonic intimacy?

This is the closeness and deep connection you share in a platonic friendship. It comes from sharing secrets, worries, and feelings.

Can married people have platonic love?

Yes, married people can have great platonic love in their friendships. Having platonic relationships helps enrich one’s mental and physiological well-being.

Illustration: What Is A Platonic Relationship And How To Make It Work?

Image: Dall·E/The Bridal Box Design Team

Infographic: 5 Reasons To Nurture Platonic Relationships

While one cannot deny the charm and importance of romantic partners, platonic relationships are equally essential. They help promote a deeper emotional, intellectual, and spiritual bond between two individuals. Check out the infographic below to know why platonic relationships are important for your life and mental well-being.

Illustration: The Bridal Box Design Team

A platonic relationship is a close bond between two people without any romantic or sexual feelings. Learn more about this relationship in the video below.