When to Breakup With Someone You Love: 26 Signs To Move On

A pleasant romantic relationship might take a wrong turn that makes you contemplate if you should pull the plug or when to break up. You may be experiencing several frictional moments and disagreements, which are not resolved even after making plenty of attempts. So, how will you understand if it’s time to end the relationship? Also, how would you convey it to your partner?

All these must be tricky for you to answer. Perhaps you need help to navigate through these issues. Keep reading this post as we help you find answers and ways to deal with this situation.

26 Signs You Need To Break Up With Someone

The following are a few red flags in a relationship you should look out for. If most of these points ring true, it’s time for you to break up with your partner.

1. You cannot trust your partner

Trust is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship. If you feel you cannot trust your partner, you need to re-evaluate whether you want to be in the relationship or move on. Look for signs such as lying or flirting, which are unacceptable past a point. If they continue acting shady even after your warning, it is a major red flag.

2. You feel unfulfilled

Everyone has some basic emotional or physical needs that they rely on a partner to fulfill. If your partner cannot make you feel loved or valued and you constantly feel you lack something, maybe you are in the wrong relationship.

3. You compromise all the time

A little compromise and adjustment can make your relationship balanced. But if you feel you are the only one compromising while your partner isn’t willing to do so, it shows you both are disconnected. Under such circumstances, you need to walk away before your identity is erased.

4. You are not introduced to their family or friends

Ideally, partners in love are proud of each other. But suppose your partner does not want to make your relationship official and does not want to introduce you to their family or friends. In that case, they are probably not serious about your relationship.

5. You can’t be yourself anymore

If your relationship or partner makes you uncomfortable to be your true self, it’s a strong reason to end things. A relationship should allow you to be comfortable in your skin. If you feel you can’t be your true self and everything you do seems forced, you might be in the wrong relationship.

6. You’ve tried enough

If you feel you have tried enough and cannot put in more effort to keep the relationship afloat, it is probably a good time to end things. A relationship that has reached the saturation point is almost as bad as a hateful one.

7. Your partner is abusive

If your partner is abusive to you, emotionally or psychologically, it is wise to end things as soon as possible. You can forgive a one-off instance, but repeated abuse is not something you should tolerate under any circumstances.

8. Your natural reaction is to pick a fight

Your partner should evoke feelings of love and warmth. But if you feel annoyed and argue every time, you should know that something is fundamentally wrong. End the relationship before it translates into extreme forms and hurts you.

9. You no longer need each other

Have you reached a point where you feel their absence wouldn’t make a difference to your life in any significant way? If you don’t long for each other, the relationship seems to have lost its charm.

10. You fantasize about breaking up

Walking out of your job, telling your parents you feel low, punching that annoying stranger in the face—everyone fantasizes about unwholesome things at times. If you frequently drift into fantasies of leaving your partner, your subconscious mind is probably trying to tell you something.

11. You have many differences

It’s normal to disagree on politics, TV shows, or ice cream flavors. But if fundamental values and morals differ from that of your partner’s, you may not have a long-lasting relationship.

12. You suffer from relationship anxiety

Relationship anxiety occurs when your relationship is one of the primary stress factors in your life. Interactions and even the thought of your partner can trigger worry. A relationship should be an escape from your problems and not cause worry. If you’re suffering from relationship anxiety, you should end things before they take a toll on your mental health.

13. You don’t share physical intimacy

Everything is new and exciting initially, but it may taper off with time. If your relationship has reached a stage where things feel stale and romance and intimacy are missing, you should re-evaluate what’s missing and what led to this stage.

14. You can’t remember when you were happy in the relationship

If you haven’t been happy for a while now and things don’t seem to be getting better, it’s a good sign that you should probably end things with your partner. A relationship shouldn’t just be about doing the bare minimum. If it doesn’t inspire passion, longing, and desire in you, it is just a matter of time before it falls apart.

15. You keep breaking up

There are times when people end a relationship but manage to reconcile their differences to get back together. But if it becomes a pattern, it is not healthy. An on-off relationship can cause stress for both of you.

16. You are stuck on good memories

Do you think of those good times you both shared on a trip or the happening birthday party? Aren’t you able to create any more good moments? If yes, your relationship has become stagnant. It could be because one of you has changed, or you and your partner have become incompatible. It would be wise to re-evaluate your relationship and where you stand at this point.

17. You both argue a lot

From dinner dates to family gatherings, drinks with friends, and watching a movie, you can’t seem to reach a consensus on anything. While occasional arguments are normal, constant fighting is a huge red flag — it can wear you down can affect your relationship and mental health.

18. They are not over their ex

If your partner is not over their ex, then you should admit it and take some time to process it before continuing with your relationship. In case your feelings or your partner’s feelings don’t change with time, don’t go forward and make false commitments.

19. You or your partner is too dependent

To put it simply, one of you is clingy. The clingy person is too dependent on the other even for the smallest tasks and is insecure and possessive. Regardless, the affection isn’t mutual, making it a ground for you to consider a breakup.

20. Your partner puts you down

You should never settle for someone who puts you down constantly to make themselves feel better. Such behavior indicates a toxic personality. You should end the relationship at the earliest for your betterment.

21. Your partner cheats on you

If your partner cheats on you, you should break up with them right away. You should not become a victim of their wrongdoing. If your partner is unfaithful to you in any way, you should end the relationship as soon as you find out.

22. Your friends and family dislike your partner

Not everyone gets along together, and there will always be someone who will dislike your partner due to some reason. But if most of your friends and family don’t like your partner and think they are a bad match for you, maybe you should pay attention to them. Sometimes, they may see or know things that you may not see or know.

23. Your partner is dominating

A relationship is a two-way street. While an imbalance to a certain degree is expected, you should never feel you are just along for the ride. If your partner takes things too fast or makes all the decisions for you, you can think about moving on.

24. Your goals differ

You may want to settle down and have a family and children, while your partner may want to take things casually. You may have issues with long-distance, each other’s families, or even careers. If there are such fundamental disagreements between you and your partner and you are unable to make mutual decisions, then it is a good idea to end things before everything gets soured by arguments.

25. Your lives are pulling you away from each other

It could be your career goals, family, hobby, or ambition—your life seems to be pulling in a different direction from your partner’s. If you find that you and your partner have no room for each other, you should probably re-think the direction your relationship is taking.

26. The spark has died out

Sometimes, the relationship could lose steam and momentum for seemingly no reason. What you had found attractive about your partner and vice-versa wouldn’t be there anymore. Despite your best efforts, if you feel the spark can’t be revived, you should probably part ways.

How To Break Up With Someone?

Whatever the reason, breaking up with someone is never easy. Keep these tips in mind when breaking up with your partner.

1. Communicate your thoughts

Before you break up, it’s essential to let your partner know that you are making this decision after careful consideration and thought so that you do not come across as impulsive or callous.

2. Don’t give hope

The worst thing you could do while breaking up is giving your partner hope. Spare them the pain and help them move on in life. Few things are as dangerous as hope during a breakup. You may want to water down your message and make it seem less hurtful, but that may only end up giving them hope that they can reconcile with you. Make it clear to them that that is not your intent.

3. Pick the right time

No matter how urgently you think you need to break up, you need to be mindful of time and circumstances. You don’t want to add to your partner’s misery after they’ve lost their job or when a family member is ill. Find the right time to tell them that is neutral and appropriate.

4. Prepare for an adverse reaction

Even if the breakup is not a complete surprise to them, there is a chance your partner might receive it poorly. Prepare yourself mentally for tantrums, tears, and an emotional rollercoaster as you navigate this breakup.

5. Expect a fight, but don’t engage in one

Your breakup might end with an argument, and you should prepare for it. As far as possible, don’t get lured into one, and don’t engage with your partner if they are lashing out. They will vent as they are hurt. Remain calm and move on.

6. Don’t avoid them till they go away

While not confronting the issue might seem a good option, you should not do it. Ignoring or avoiding them, hoping they will get the message will only send wrong signals and leave them hurt, angry, and confused.

7. Take the high road

If a breakup goes sour, harsh words and sentiments could be exchanged, leading to bitterness. In case your partner engages in such acts, do not stoop to their level. You will be happy that you didn’t later on.

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Reviewer

Allison LiebermanLMFT, PMH-C

     

Allison Lieberman is a licensed marriage and family therapist, mom of two, and postpartum expert. Aside from being a 2x survivor of postpartum anxiety, Allison has a certification in perinatal mental health. She is the co-founder of Rooted in Harmony Counseling, a virtual group counseling practice in California, and has a podcast named The New Mama Mentor Pod.

Read full bio of Allison Lieberman