Why Being Both A Realist And A Romantic Is The Best Way To Fall In Love
shivani k 
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I have a declaration, I am a romantic realist, yes, of late, I’ve become that kind of a person in my life. When I was a kid (God! How time flies) I was a diehard romantic. I’d measure everything and everyone around me in terms of how cutesy or lovable they were. In fact, when I’d see my parents hug in front of me and watch my dad plant a gentle kiss on my mum’s cheeks, it was I who blushed. I always dreamt of finding my prince charming, just like my mom found hers. Most of my teenage years went by searching for my knight in shining armor. And just when I thought that I had found the one… Life happened!
That faux Prince Charming of mine actually made me realize that life can never just jump to the chapter that reads happily-ever-after. In fact, thinking that it would, is the easiest way to get your heart shattered into a thousand pieces. It was only then that I realized that attraction is one thing and to love someone is a totally different thing. You know, just like wanting to be with someone is different from having the need to be around that person.
When I reached the cusp of womanhood, I started seeing love and relationships in a more realistic manner. I was still a romantic at heart, but I knew where to draw the lines and trod carefully when it came to relationships. It’s only then that I began to enjoy all the stages of my relationships and never made the mistake of skipping ahead to that perfect kiss. (Rolls eyes)
This Is What Being A Romantic Means
These are the kind of people who’ve watched a lot of Yash Raj and Karan Johar movies. They have heard imaginary violins playing in the background, almost all their lives. They expect everything about their love, and their relationships to be extremely chirpy and oh-so-full of love. They want to look into the eyes of their partner and stare all day long. They expect their partners to make them the center of their world; in fact, they would want their love stories to be the next epics, anything less than that is not acceptable to them. A slight deviation from that epic storyline can goad them into becoming drama queens or kings. But life follows its own storyline, doesn’t it? These kinds of people often forget that life is uncertain and full of surprises.
This Is What Being A Realist Means
These are the kind of souls who never hope or wish for things to happen. They believe in making it happen for them on their own. In terms of love and relationships, they are the ones who think buying flowers for their lady is a waste of money and effort. They’d rather take her out on a dinner date or probably gift her something which has more lasting effects and is of more utility than just aesthetic value. They definitely don’t believe in love at first sight. They are not here for the drama, and as such are unaffected by it. Logic, facts, and figures rule their everyday life. That’s the realists for you.
Then Who’s A Romantic Realist?
A person like this is a healthy mix of the two kinds we discussed above. A person who fits the bill of a romantic realist doesn’t believe in the notion that you need to “fall” in love in order to find the “one”. They believe that one has to undertake a long journey and put in a lot of hard work to find their right partner. They do believe in the love stories, but they don’t blindly assume that everything ends on a happy note. They understand that in life, you come across people who stay with you until your last breath and then there are people who show up for a few moments and then leave. And they know that those who left; left for good.
A romantic realist will wear his/her heart on their sleeve, but at the same time, he/she will never let the heart rule over the mind. When they know it will never work out, they don’t push for the relationship to happen.
I’m someone who fits this description to the T. I’m in love with my boyfriend. I love him with all my heart and my mind. If he expects too much from me, I let him know that it’s not practical to do so. We believe in spending quality time. The quantity of that time doesn’t matter to us. There are times I go to bed with him and fall asleep instantly without uttering a word. There are times when we make love and fall asleep in each other’s arms. Irrespective of how the night went by, the next morning we are there at the dining table, eating our breakfast cereals and discussing the world in general.
This is how I, a romantic realist, love. In my humble opinion, it’s the best way to fall in love for I am not wishing for things to happen neither am I forcing them to happen. Even though love is important for me, I haven’t handed over the reins of my life to it.
Are you a romantic or a realist? Do you believe in falling in love at first sight? Let us know in the comments.
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