To My Second Baby Who Made Me A Better Mother
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I remember when the doctor told me that I’m pregnant. Even though it was not the first time, it made me just as happy as the first. I was filled with joy and excitement. Knowing that a little bundle of joy was about to enter my life once again, brought me a great deal of happiness. I did not feel anxious or worried about the pregnancy because I was already a mother. I knew how to go about it and walk this journey.
I was well prepared for the monthly doctor’s appointments and the different milestones that were yet to come. My husband and I were much calmer this time around. We relaxed more, enjoyed the time we had together, and even planned dinner dates. I was prepared for the mornings filled with nausea and tears and evenings filled with swelling, massages, and movie nights.
We prepared our firstborn child. We told him about a new life that is going to come into our lives. We asked him if he wanted a brother or a sister, and he instantly said he wanted a little sister. As days went by, we got him more involved with the process, showed him pictures of our scans, and got him involved in picking out the baby clothes. We set aside family time to speak to my baby bump, and my son would express how he was waiting for the baby to arrive.
I was not nervous or anxious about my due date and the process of giving birth. During my first delivery, I did not anticipate my every need. The dirty diapers, laundry, and dishes were just a part of my everyday life. And the emotions. A whole lot of them. It was all so new to me when I had my first baby. But this time, I was prepared. I knew what was in store for me postpartum, and I was ready to face it head-on.
We didn’t have to read any books or take notes as much as we did the first time. I was happier, calmer, and felt more prepared. But I was nervous for different reasons. I didn’t know if I would be enough for you. I was scared that I would not have enough love to give you. I loved my son more than my life and was worried about how I would share that love. I was concerned that I would not be able to balance two children.
Time flew, and before I knew it, you were born. Into this world and our lives. In just a moment, I was a mother of two, and we were a family of four. As I held you in my arms, you opened your eyes and looked at me, and I instantly felt my heart open wide. I did not know that I have so much love to give. But as I was holding you, I knew that my love for my children is infinite.
I was certainly a mother before, but with you, I learned to juggle between numerous things. I was consumed by your smile, your eyes, your tiny fingers, and toes. I learned to cherish every moment with you. You taught me the importance of slowing down and taking it all in. You taught me to laugh when things fall apart and be strong through the struggles of postpartum. You gave me a better understanding of myself and my family the moment you came into this world. My sweet baby, you taught me to roll with punches and savor firsts and lasts. But most importantly, you taught me that the love I have for my children is as deep as the ocean and as high as the mountains. It is limitless and immeasurable. Dear baby, it’s true that you did not make me a mother, but you did make me a better one, and for that, I cannot thank you enough.
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