10 Simple Rules For First Timers On Dating Apps

Dating in 2016 in India is not easy. It’s a battlefield out there, and there’s a bunch of them who’re just there because they like the blood rush and adrenaline. Navigating through to success is a tough one. But I’ll start simple. What is dating, really? And is it a part of the supposed hook-up culture? What does ‘Netflix and chill’ really mean? And all those other questions? Right, that’s why I’m here.

Okay, so, in simple English, dating refers to three things – wooing, courting, and actual dates.

Wooing

You meet someone, you like him/her, so you date them, to see if it’s working out. If it works out, you start ‘going steady’, meaning you’re not dating any more.

When you go on a date, you’re going somewhere with either a person you like (wooing) or a person you’re going steady with (courting). ‘Netflix and chill’ is something steady couples do instead of going out together, on a real date, because they’re too lazy. The old people think there’s a hook-up culture; but really, it’s just a way to be vague about whom you’re doing what with, coz they’re like obsessed with our lives, and you don’t want them to know. So instead of saying I’m going to go make out with my BF/GF, we say we’re just gonna ‘Netflix and chill,’ and they thought it means they’re just hooking up. Lame!

Anyway, so, that means dating refers to finding companionship, physical, sexual, emotional and otherwise, for a period of time. Dating is not about one night stands; that’s a hook-up. There are apps for that, but more on that in the next bit. What do you use dating apps for? For going on dates. Yes, you can use dating apps to just go out on dates with different people, till you find someone who’s more compatible with you. Not hook-ups, dates.

And here’s how to start using the apps.

1. Fill Up Your Profile

How else will he or she know enough to say ‘hi’? Once you sign up and log in, you should be in your own account. Find your profile menu; if you can’t, then Google how to, and enhance your profile, with your own face and the stuff you like, and whatever else you can add. Put up a good picture. Groom yourself, it’s 2016, guys are supposed to look good too now, IRL also.

Don’t lie about anything, coz people will end up meeting you at some point, and then it’s just awkward.

If you have a bland profile, but you messaged someone with a great profile, it will not work.

2. Likes

Generally, the protocol is to hit ‘like’ if you saw a profile and are interested in that person. Don’t hover, or stalk a person, or ping him or her incessantly, without a like.

Girls hit ‘like’ if they like a profile/photo. If they’ve checked out your profile but not hit ‘like’, it’s a big possibility she might not be interested. It doesn’t work the other way. The reason it’s like that, is that most guys will like girls’ profiles, but then they’re not liking her profile to date her, so girls have stopped looking at ‘likes’. And girls are apprehensive about saying ‘hi’ to a fake profile, or a spammer, or a serial rapist, so they don’t text first. It’s not power play.

3. Be Careful

This one’s for both sexes. So there are way too many male sexual deviants online; girls be careful and check out the profile. If he’s not filled it up, that’s a big risk. Don’t talk to guys with empty profiles. No, like seriously, don’t. If he has a decent profile, and says ‘hi’, get to know everything you can.

And guys, unfortunately, a lot of brothels and with-it pimps have taken their business online, to these dating apps, coz they think lonely guys will do anything for sex. And so far they’ve been quite successful on these apps. But then, that works out okay, till you see a profile of a really hot girl, and think she’s a hooker. So before you f*** up big time, please check out her profile. A profile is a very obvious way to know if she’s a hooker or a real girl.

Girls and guys, fill up your profile; it’s the only way to stop all this.

4. The First Message

Quid pro quo, so use your heads.

If you send a disinterested and bland ‘hi’, expect a disinterested response. If you try to be cool, or insult a person, expect the same returned. If you picked a girl or guy based on his/her looks, and then sent her/him lame messages, expect her/him to do the same and judge you by your looks also.

If someone sends you lewd stuff, you can report that person. Most apps have a system in place, where they check the message sent, and if it is of questionable content, and the person aggravated the user, the user who sent it is blocked from the app for a period of time. So guys (and girls), don’t do stuff like that.

That first message will be the first impression the other person gets.

5. Casual Stuff

Until the laws on death for rape/sexual abuse/harassment come to pass, women will never ever ever be okay with casual stuff with a stranger they don’t know.

There are a lot of other apps out there for hooking up. There’s a difference between dating and going steady, or courting. You meet, date, and then decide if you want to go steady, or be friends, or friends with benefits, etc.

6. Fraaanship

As a rule, do not use dating apps to make friends, or chat. If you meet someone on a date, and realize you’re both better off as friends, then that’s great. But do not use these apps for anything other than dating. It’s simply torture.

Also, general rule of dating, you can’t ask for anything physical until the third date, friends or not.

7. Lions Should Not Go After Dinosaurs

So, most guys and girls, because of aforementioned situations, have a lesser choice, if they’re really looking for dates. This gives way to a hunt-down scenario, with all the guys going after those few good profiles, and all the girls going after those few good guys, without thinking about whether you really match up with that person.

Don’t do that.

8. Warning Signs

Sometimes, people are there on these apps just to pass time. They may have decent profiles, but that’s just to make some chat pals. Here’s how you know:

• He/she doesn’t seem interested in meeting up within the first week of saying ‘hi’.
• He she doesn’t say much about him/herself.
• He/she doesn’t ask specific questions much, just starts a general conversation every time.
• He/she stays anonymous/gives a fake name. You’ll know if it’s fake or not.
• He/she insists on exchanging WhatsApp numbers before the first meet-up.

9. Don’ts

• Don’t put up a fake pic or a pic that looks totally different from what you look like IRL.
• Don’t ‘sext’ random strangers.
• Don’t stalk a girl.
• Don’t waste other people’s time.
• Don’t not read a profile.
• Don’t meet up after seven p.m.
• Don’t exchange WhatsApp numbers before the first meet-up.

10. The First Meetup

Plan the meet on the app. It’s a dumb idea to exchange numbers before the first meet-up. If he/she says it’s tough to message on the dating app, he/she doesn’t care enough to turn you into a date.

Look nice. Be polite. Come with a chaperone; never come alone. End the first meet-up before eight p.m. Don’t assume the first meet-up is the first date, It’s not; it is for checking out the other person to see if you two are as compatible IRL as you are online.

Don’t do lunch or dinner. Don’t plan a movie, don’t ever invite the person home the first time you meet (that’s a one night stand waiting to happen).

Meet up for coffee, chat and see how it goes. If it’s a match, you can decide to go for a movie or something light later, on the first date.

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