Does The Birth Order In Your Family Influence Your Personality?
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Were you the only child to your parents or were you all a bunch of siblings? And when you grew up among siblings, were your personalities poles apart? Like, one of you was academically sound while the other was probably a good athlete? It’s a tricky question to answer. Yet, when you look back, you’ll realize that one of the reasons you were at complete loggerheads with your siblings were these very differences. Despite belonging to the same family and having the same genes, all of you would have been as different as chalk and cheese. So, does the birth order in your family actually influence your personality?
We have often noticed that firstborns, or even an only child, are generally pretty mature for their age, more responsible – especially towards their younger siblings, and are high achievers academically. The middleborns often complain about feeling sandwiched between the older and the younger ones or not getting enough of either of the parent’s attention. Whereas the youngest ones are usually a little kiddish in behavior, are free-spirited, curious, and have a devil-may-care attitude. Of course, we might not give the relationship between our birth order and our personalities much of a thought. But, as it turns out, a lot of it might actually make sense.
A Little Bit Of Trivia
The influence of birth order on someone’s personality was first highlighted by the Austrian psychotherapist, Alfred Adler, between the late 19th to early 20th century. Having worked with the founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, for a while, he soon ventured on his own and extensively studied the birth order influences. He believed that the birth order in a family impacted a person’s intelligence, career choices, interpersonal relationships, and many such aspects of life. His theories are popularly referred to as the Adlerian theory in psychological studies (1).
How The Birth Order Shapes One’s Personality
We often wonder ourselves – why is it that, despite belonging to the same family and growing up in the same environment, children end up with different personalities? The most obvious answer would be that parents themselves don’t treat all of their children the same way. They generally tend to be stricter with their firstborns and have higher expectations from them. This is because most parents believe that once they set high standards with their firstborns, the rest of the kids will automatically follow in their footsteps. And this push from the parents results in the firstborns achieving substantial success academically and professionally as well. This also makes them good decision makers.
It might be a slightly different scenario, though, for the middleborns. While they might become a center of attention after they ‘dethrone’ the elder one, they are soon deprived of this adulation once the younger one comes into the picture. This generally leaves them confused regarding their status in the family. They might feel squeezed between the other two – they might not be taken seriously like the elder one or pampered like the younger. However, this struggle of theirs makes them capable of handling pressures. In the long run, it proves beneficial to them when they carve out their own niche in the family.
In comparison, the youngest ones are spared of all such restrictions. Parents might continue to discipline them albeit in a liberal manner and give them the ‘baby’ status at home. Often, they are also given a free hand to explore their field of interest. This gives them an opportunity to be more creative and free-spirited.
Having said this, though, let us reiterate a few things. It may be true that your birth order probably influences your personality, especially some very specific traits. However, this certainly does not mean that these traits hinder your success in your choice of endeavors. History is replete with examples of such global leaders who achieved an iconic status irrespective of the birth order they belonged to. All you need to do is believe in yourself and you’ll soon find your true calling!
