Conversation Starters That Will Help Your Kids Open Up
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Having an open line of communication with your kids has never been as important as it is in today’s day and age. With the various different struggles and challenges that your kids face everyday, it’s no secret why they tend to close up and keep to themselves. But in order to foster a strong bond with your kids and have the ability to give input and help them, you must first find a way to communicate with them well. We all think we communicate with our kids. After all, we live with them. But is this really true? Most children spend a majority of their time in school, extra curricular classes and being shuttled back and forth with lined activities. And when you finally sit down for that family dinner, they are exhausted and give you one word answers. Here are a few effective things you can ask your kids to start a real conversation.
1. How To Ask Them About Their Day At School
Asking children about their day at school is the perfect way to engage in meaningful conversations and show your interest in their lives. To encourage open communication, it’s important to ask open-ended questions that go beyond a simple “How was your day?” Try asking specific questions like, “What did you enjoy the most today?” or “Did you learn something new that you’d like to share?”
You can also inquire about their interactions with friends or teachers by asking, “Did you play with anyone interesting today?” or “How did your teacher help you learn?” By asking questions that require more than a one-word response, you create an opportunity for your child to express themselves and share their thoughts and experiences, helping you stay connected and informed about their school life.
2. How To Start Difficult Conversations
Unfortunately, your child’s school years may not be the best years of their life. It can actually be the worst. Although there are rules that have been put in place to prevent bullying, many children still get bullied and ostracized by their peers. The need to fit in can be consuming and overwhelming as your little one grows up. This can often put them in a bad mood or even result in anger issues and behavioral problems. Is your child isolating themselves? Do they seem troubled or sad? Are they restless and tend to snap at you out of the blue? These are things that you need to address head on.
So how do you approach this conversion? Your child probably hasn’t come to you with these problems yet because they are either embarrassed about them or scared of how you’ll react. So try your best to put them at ease. Be open-minded and willing to listen and try not to react negatively to anything you hear. You can start off with something like “Are there any challenges you are facing in school?” or “Is someone in class disrespecting you or harming you in some way?” Try not to probe. Allow them to open up to you in their own time but let them know that you are there to comfort and support them when they do.
3. Make Them Feel Understood
When your child starts to reply honestly, don’t try to interrupt them. Allow them to unburden themselves to you without any advice or comments. After they have finished relaying all the information to you, you can ask them to tell you some things in detail. Now’s your time to make enquiries and get specifics. However, keep in mind that your primary role is to ensure they feel secure, protected, and heard. Therefore, if something is troubling them but they are hesitant to discuss it, create a safe environment and gently motivate them to share the entire story, rather than pressing for every minute detail. This can make your child feel anxious. Pay attention to the important stuff and discard the rest.
Ask them how they are feeling and validate their emotions. Sometimes all your child needs to hear is that it is okay to feel as they do. And finally, thank them for sharing their thoughts with you. You can come up with a solution together later. For now let your kids know how much you appreciate their effort to be open with you.
Establishing a close relationship with your kids can be hard. They are constantly evolving and it can be hard to get a hold of them with their busy schedules. But having an open line of communication always helps. Happy parenting!
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