Why Every Nice Guy You Reject Is Becoming Someone Else’s Perfect Boyfriend

Have you often been told by your male friends that it’s the good guys who finish last? So what are we women doing? Are we all swiping right on the bad guys before ultimately swiping left? The truth is, we, as a generation, are extremely demanding in terms of our expectations. We begin our love story with a perfectly imperfect man, and finally, when we realize that he cannot be made into our perfect man, we go ahead and show him the nearest exit. Sad but true, right guys?

I’m not supporting the women or the men here. Honestly, I have experienced this personally. Let me explain with my own story.

Rahul and I met at a common friend’s birthday celebrations. I didn’t notice him at all. I was with my own gang of friends having a gala time. After a while, one of my friends, who was standing in for the DJ for the night started playing a romantic Bollywood number and asked all the couples to hit the dance floor. Everybody was more than happy to do it. Except me because I was single, and then I looked to my right and there was Rahul. “Oh, so he is single,” was the first thought that popped up in my head when I looked at him. As we two were the only ones left, we pretended to enjoy looking at the other couples’ dance.

Rahul walked up to me about 10 minutes later and said, “Hey, it’s weird to just gawk at people while they spend a romantic evening with their partners. I’m just going to head to the terrace with a beer can, would you like to join?” I instantly said yes, and he went and grabbed another can of beer. On the terrace, we sat gazing at the stars. We spoke a lot about our lives, families, etc. He was an exceptional dancer, he showed me some of his robot-dance moves and I was left in awe of them. In return, I sang for him and I am pretty sure must have felt the same way about me (smirk face). After the party ended, we headed for our respective homes and I thought that was it.

But no, it wasn’t. Two months later there was an intercollegiate fest happening in one of the famous colleges in my town. I obviously participated in the singing competition. I went up on stage and began to sing a peppy number as that went with the theme of the competition. To my surprise, I found someone dancing like a maniac in the crowd. Any guesses who it was? Rahul, of course! I went into my own dreamland looking at him move so effortlessly to my tunes. I instantly felt connected to him and wondered how well we would do as a couple (we both loved art).  On the second day of the fest, we spent the whole day together watching others perform. I could see that he had fallen for me already although my feelings for him had only begun to take shape. From then on, we began to hang out together and grew closer with time. He handled all my tantrums like it was his favorite thing to do. He would often say, “I’d do anything to keep you happy.” But he knew it. He could sense that I wasn’t that much into him and I was apprehensive about it. Because for me, all guys were morons that I could never trust.

After a good six months together, he finally popped the question. We were at a dance festival this time and I was there to cheer him on. Even before he started his performance, he dedicated the dance to me. He danced to the tunes of “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran. He danced like a dream. After the performance, while we were on our way back home, when we entered an empty lane he went down on his knees and asked, “I love you. Will you be the one in my life?” I lost it! I didn’t know if I could do it. My brain froze due to the sheer pressure of the barrage of thoughts that went through it at that moment. I began to think if he could ever support me or our children, if we managed to have any as, he always told me he wants to be a dancer by profession. I know what you must be thinking, “What was this girl even thinking?” I said no. I did not explain as to why I said no. He kept asking me if there was anything wrong with him or with us being a couple. I chose not to explain and left teary-eyed.

Two years passed, we both graduated. I had not seen or heard from him since that day. It so happened that my friends and I went to watch a play on a summer evening. I looked at the stage and saw him up there. He had become a star. I instantly realized I couldn’t lose him. After the play, I went backstage to meet him. But it was already too late. I saw him with another girl, they looked so much in love and happy with each other. I’d lost him!

Even to this day, I think if only I had not overanalyzed so much if I had told him what my worry was, he would have convinced me. He would have told me that I was over thinking and we would have been together.

All I’m trying to tell you all is that if you really like that guy, don’t let your worries weigh you down. Don’t over think and go with your gut. If he’s making you smile and you feel complete with him around, you’ll figure out the rest of your lives eventually. Because the nice guy you are rejecting today might turn out to be someone else’s perfect boyfriend tomorrow.

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