To The Guy Who Continues To Love Me Unconditionally

Dear Dad,

I had often heard people say, if it is conditional then it isn’t love, but I never really believed it. I had always seen relationships for what they were, an exchange or barter of responsibilities and expectations, but with you, things were never like that. You were there for me from the moment I opened my eyes. I was the sun and the moon of your world, your everything. It never occurred to me that I owed you something for your love. I always felt like I was entitled to your love, your affection, your time and your devotion.

So, while you slogged at work all day long, I still expected to hear a bed-time story, oblivious to the fact that those yawns that made me giggle were signs of your exhaustion. You still smiled, making sure that your princess got to hear her bed-time story, every single day, without fail. No matter how long a day you had or how tired you were.

It was you who dropped me to school every single day. It was you who waited for me to return with bated breath when I had my first day at the primary school. It never occurred to me that perhaps you were more anxious than I was, that it was you who needed reassurance not me.

Every PTA meeting, was right there, mentioned on your schedule. You would even attend the ones that I did not want you to. Beaming with pride at the accolades that were showered at me, furrowing your eyebrows at the complaints, you were one of the few parents who never missed a meeting. How many sacrifices you made in order to be able to do that, I never knew, because you made it look so effortless.

There were times when I was less than nice to you. When I didn’t like hanging out with you because it wasn’t ‘cool’ anymore. Even if that hurt you, you never let it show. Every time I felt I was down in the dumps, you were there to cheer me up. No request was unreasonable, my every wish was your command. I wonder now why you did that? Who taught you to be a father like that? How was it that my friends were more comfortable chatting with you than their own fathers?

I wish I could go back in time to tell you that you were doing such a great job and that I couldn’t have asked for a better parent. I wish I could reassure you on those dark days when you thought you had failed me as a parent. Even though you had no role models of your own, you did a terrific job of being a parent, that too all by yourself.

When I decided to move to a different city, to pursue higher education, you supported me enthusiastically. It never occurred to you that I was abandoning you. After all, it had always been the two of us. You took it in your stride, letting go of your fear of loneliness so that I could prosper. All those weekends when I didn’t call home, those breaks that I spent with my friends, you never made me feel guilty for those. “This is the time to enjoy, don’t worry about me. You make the most of your college days,” this was what I heard when I called you to inform that I won’t be coming home. You always wanted to know what was going on in my life, even when I showed no interest in yours. Taking care to not pry, you would gently nudge me to reveal information about my latest crushes. You were there for each and every one of my heartbreaks, even if you had warned me against the guys in advance. That was one thing I could count on always. That even if the world comes to an end you would be there for me.

Now that I am a parent myself, I realize that it was you who truly loved me unconditionally and continues to do so even today. You still try to make my life as easy as possible, volunteering to babysit your grandkid when you know I have too much work to do. (Despite knowing that he is a handful.) You are always there to soothe my fears about being a parent, lauding me for the good job I am doing as a parent, even though no one did that for you when I was growing up.

Dad, thank you for being my rock, thank you for loving me with zero expectations. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have had such a “normal” childhood. Thank you, for being my friend, philosopher, guide, and even my mother. Thank you for instilling these great values in me which now I can pass onto my child. Thank you for making me the strong, independent woman that I am today. Thank you for loving me unconditionally, you were the only one who could.

Note: Like most stories, the aforementioned story is reality interspersed with fiction.

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