How To Handle Criticism Of Your Parenting From Other Moms

Let’s admit it, no matter what you do or how you do it, there will always be someone who will criticize you. This includes parenting and unfortunately, motherhood too! Moms are criticized by other moms all the time—no matter how well you are doing or how much you are struggling. And honestly, let’s confess it, sometimes we find ourselves doing it too. It is almost like an unsaid norm of the world. It can come in the form of a short-sharp comment from a stranger mommy, a social-media discourse that you got dragged into, or a simple question— ‘Are you sure about that?’. It can also come from any kind of mommy, sometimes your own!

Any form of parenting critique coming our way can be ruthless, shady, and most of the time—very hurtful! We know you are doing your best—you have your plate full—and we wish fewer critiques were roaming about our world. But as we all know wishes don’t grow on trees (or was that money? You know what we mean). Understanding your struggle, we are here to help you navigate the tough spot you are put into time and again without any fault of your own.

Before we dive into our list of suggestions, we want you to remember three important things:

• Not all mommies are the same and nor are their kids.
• There is no obligation on you to please other mommies.
• You do not owe anyone any explanation of your parenting.

Guide To Avoiding Criticism

Having said that, it is not easy to shield yourself from post-criticism thoughts. This is why we’ve made this guide suggesting ways to protect yourself from unwanted parenting criticism:

1. Be Smart About Who You Share Your Parenting Complaints And Concerns With

It is important to know your philosophy and ideals of parenting before you seek parenting advice. We know that it is difficult, and you want to rant once in a while. Or you might simply be concerned and want to double-check. We are all up for that! But if you ask a parent who doesn’t match your parenting philosophy and ideals, the results can be a mental catastrophe. Keep your complaints private from the public at large. Instead, find a small group of friends who understand you and have your well-being at heart.

2. Protect Yourself

Criticism, no matter in what form and source can be hurtful. Parenting is already a taxing task, you don’t need more stress! This added stress will only interfere with your life and consequently, your relationship with your child. You need to understand that and take a stand for yourself. Whenever unwanted advice comes your way, brush it aside and set the record straight—be the headstrong mommy that you are.

3. Protect Your Child

Negative comments can affect your children, there is no doubt about that. Which is why it is important to have that headstrong attitude. It not only protects you but also your kids.

4. Be Positive

Your child picks up on your mood, your attitude, and the general vibe that is going on. So, try to maintain a positive outlook on life so that your kid also follows suit.

Guide To Handling Criticism

Now, we know despite all the ways of protecting yourself from unwanted criticism, some critiques sneak into our lives making it extremely hard to overcome the deprecating comments. That is why we have another list of suggestions to help you handle parenting criticism from other moms:

1. If You Asked For Advice, Be Clear About What You Are Looking For

Clarify your needs before you get an avalanche of information and shade thrown at you. Ask specific questions rather than a collection of thoughts. Avoid going to a mommy who doesn’t match your ideals or even your vibe, to be honest.

2. Be Aware Of The Intentions Of Your Mommy Critique

Whenever you are put in an uncomfortable position, take a step back and evaluate the situation, the critique, and your emotions. It helps a lot! It is almost as good as counting to ten when you are angry. Unsolicited advice hurts, but see if it was ill-intended or coming from a place of genuine care. It is often easy to handle people who genuinely care rather than rouge critiques.

3. Understand The Language Of The Mommy

It is not only important to understand the intentions of the critique mommy, but also her language and the words she didn’t say. Remember—all mommies are exhausted. They have their plates full. Sometimes comprehension isn’t on the top of their to-do list. Read between the lines, engage in active listening, and don’t jump into the unintended meaning.

4. Lower Your Defenses

Yes, we know we asked you to be headstrong! But there is always room for introspection. Has an unsolicited comment from the past made you too defensive that you are always on the lookout to shun the next critique? Always remember that humans learn a lot from others’ experiences. Motherhood is a hit and trial game. And most importantly, it is not a competition.

5. Be Vocal About Your Post-criticism Feelings

If you have evaluated your feelings, the situation, and the nature of the advice, and it all points towards unsolicited advice, then let the mommy critique know she hurt your feelings. Some people (especially exhausted mommies) might cross a line without realizing it. Have a healthy dialogue with them, explain what they did wrong and how you did not appreciate it. Get it off your mind!

6. Let Them Know That All Children Are Different

Sure, some mommies are lucky, but some are not. Some mommies are natural, and some are not. The same goes for children—none of them are the exact copies of the other—we aren’t making a clone factory! Remind this to your mommy-critique before she jumps into what works for her child without realizing how different both the kids are!

Now that you have gone through our guide on how to avoid and handle unwanted criticism from other moms, go about your day! Spread your arms, hug your kids, and remember—all children are different, and all moms are different. You have nothing to worry about, you are doing your best, and that is what is important.

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