Happy Couples Do This To End An Argument—And Science Says It Works
There is no relationship that doesn’t go through occasional fights and arguments at least once in a while. If you hear couples telling you that there are zero arguments or conflicts in their relationship, then they are most certainly lying. We hate to burst your bubble, but no relationship is perfect. It can turn from kissing and making lovey-dovey eyes to plain right ugly in a matter of seconds.
If you and your partner are completely transparent with each other and have the liberty to communicate openly, then arguments are bound to happen. After all, you are two different individuals with unique views and opinions. And don’t you think confrontation and expressing your opinion is way better than staying mum?
However, how you end an argument always plays a huge role in any relationship. Arguments can make your relation stronger if done in a constructive and productive manner. But the downside is that it can break a relationship if you are not careful. You don’t want to be left with bitter feelings for your partner when you wake up the next morning after a nasty fight. Now it must have gotten you thinking — what is the best way to end an argument? Well, science has a simple answer for you — hugging it out!
How Hugging Attenuates Negative Mood
A new study shows that hugging might be the perfect way to end an argument in a healthy way (1). The study involved 404 participants, all adults, who were interviewed telephonically every evening about their relationship and conflicts for consecutive 14 days. The participants were asked about interpersonal conflict, social activities, partners, whether they received a hug and the negative and positive effects it had. Researchers found that being hugged was linked to decreased negative mood markers and an increase in positive ones. The results indicated that on days with conflicts where the subjects received a hug, there were more positive feelings and fewer negative ones than days when there were conflicts but no hugs. The results of the study were consistent among all subjects involved in the study irrespective of gender, age, marital status, race, and educational background.
Interpersonal touch is believed to be a great way to resolve a conflict. Whether it is hugging or holding hands, it indicates love and affection toward the other person when a person communicates through interpersonal touch. Many theorists consider interpersonal touch an effective pathway to help buffer against the adverse effects of interpersonal distress.
According to the study, couples who communicated through various forms of interpersonal touch experienced less distress in their relationship than those who didn’t. They also had reduced cortisol secretion, cardiovascular reactivity, and activation of brain areas linked with behavioral and emotional threats (2).
Don’t we crave a soothing touch or a warm hug when we feel down and depressed? Though we all know the power of a touch, very few practice it in their lives. As we said earlier, arguments can be productive when left with no bitter feelings toward our partner. Although other elements such as spoken word and manner of conduct come into play, interpersonal touch plays an equally important role in resolving a conflict in a healthy way.
Words can be insensitive and hurtful, which leads to your partner feeling unloved and resentful. But a simple hug can go a long way toward the betterment of your relationship. So, the next time you find yourself in the middle of a spat with your loved one, all you gotta do is hug it out.
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