How Can I Help My Child Stand Up For Himself A Bit More?
Kids being bullied and being victims of snatch-and-grabs are not rare incidents. We perceive kids to be cute and sweet, but they can be rough and mean. And being young, they may not be in a position to deal with the situation in a healthy way. As parents, you may have to intervene if they are too young to deal with it on their own. You can’t bully-proof your kid or always be there to protect them when something happens. So here are a few things you can do to let them stand up for themselves (with some guidance from your end):
Try To Negotiate On Their Behalf
Toddlers are very curious about kids their own age. But they are too young to differentiate between right and wrong. They may not be able to put them in the other person’s shoes. So when they want something they will go and grab it. Whether it is their favorite toy, chocolates or a park swing. And chances are that the most assertive one will get their way. It can also put parents in awkward situations when they see their child getting hurt or being the one hurting others. In such cases, you have to take up the role of negotiating on their behalf. Always telling your child to ‘let it go’ and ‘stop crying’ may not be a healthy approach to take in such a situation. Sometimes it’s best to intervene and ask kids to take turns on the swing or set an example to play it fair.
What Should Your Child Do In Your Absence?
The truth is no matter how much we try to get involved in our child’s life, there’s only so much a parent can do. You cannot be there when somebody snatches their toy or food, you cannot be there when somebody hits them or taunts them, and you certainly won’t be there to deal with it on their behalf all the time. So what can you do?
The power of ‘No’: Teach your child to say ‘no’. If they are not comfortable with something or they feel like someone is stepping over their boundaries or snatching their toy, teach them how to use the word no. A simple ‘No, thank you’ may be all your child needs to say to deal with the situation alone. Also, teach them to respect others’ choices when the other person says no.
Ask him to talk to his teacher: If your child finds himself/herself helpless, he/she can always get help from the class teacher. Teachers are always there to help them out, make your child understand that. They shouldn’t feel hesitant to talk about their concerns with their teacher. If a child is being bullied, speaking about it to someone who has the power and authority is the first step towards sorting the situation.
Stay connected with your child: It is important to stay connected and always be there for your child through thick and thin. Remember, guiding them can only do 50% of the work if they don’t feel loved and supported at home. Establish a close relationship with your child and ask about their day and make sure you are attentive when your child talks.
Treat Your Child With Respect
Fostering a healthy and strong relationship with your child is important in creating a secure environment at home. Be a good example for your kids to follow. When we set clear limits and communicate our expectations in a clear and crisp way, our kids are more likely to do the same. Being authoritative and assertive can help your child to realize that they don’t have to accept victimization or bullying from anyone.
Teaching your child to stand up for themselves isn’t a day’s work. It will take a lot of time and practice. You can start practicing at home by asking your kid to be confident while talking about his needs while also respecting the other person. Making eye contact while speaking is a simple yet effective tip to teach your child at home. You can also roleplay with your child and create scenarios where your child is being bullied by you so he isn’t caught off guard when something similar happens to him. Similarly, ask your kid to report to his class teacher or someone elder if he sees someone being bullied or teased constantly. Remember, looking away or letting it go is not the solution to everything.
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