How Bollywood Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations Of Love
shivani k 
Image: Instagram
Bollywood and my family have always walked hand in hand. I grew up watching blockbusters on the videocassettes and later, on the DVDs. That was my weekend ritual. And at least thrice in a month, my parents would take me out for a movie at the nearest multiplex to watch the new releases. My dad enjoyed watching me dance to the Bollywood tunes and my mom would try to dress me up like the female leads of the movies did. In fact, whenever I participated in a fancy dress competition, I always used to dress up as a Bollywood actress. I know that you’re thinking that I’m probably a little crazy. But, my parents were equally crazy for having brought me up like that.
On a serious note now, it was the Bollywood movies, after my parents, that made me believe in love. And ever since I saw movies like Dilwale Dulhaniya Le jayengey, Jab We Met, Dil To Pagal Hai, Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak and the likes, all I ever dreamt of in my life was to find the man of my life. I wanted to “settle down” with him and have kids with him (facepalm). And it was only in my late teens that I realized that Bollywood has a role to play in my life. As much as it sheds light on serious concerns of humanity or of our country, it also has a record for sowing unrealistic expectations about love in our heart and minds.
For example, if you go by the ‘Bollywood guidebook’, you will find love on that train you almost missed or you will find your soulmate on a Navratri Dandiya Pandal where you are dancing with a handsome guy, who ends up becoming your soulmate in a matter of few days. And trust me, I’m telling you this because I’ve had my share of experiences where my tales of love weren’t as Bollywood-ish as they were meant to be. I’m sharing some of them with you guys, so you’ll know better what I’m talking about.
The “Tum Hi Ho” Moment Of Kissing In Rain Or Even Under The Umbrella
I remember my boyfriend walking me back home after we got done with a graffiti we painted on our college wall. We were halfway through to my home when it started to rain heavily. I had an umbrella and I quickly removed it from my bag and opened it. I began to think that any moment now he’d look into my eyes and plant a kiss on my lips. I thought I was going to have the most romantic moment, Bollywood-style, that evening. But guess what happened instead? Of course, we both were under one umbrella and so close to each other but he started to push me out of the umbrella as there wasn’t enough space for both of us. We sure did reach home in ten minutes, but I didn’t get to have a Bollywood moment, instead, the left side of my body was all drenched in rain (courtesy: us fighting for more space under the umbrella).
You Thought He Was Going To Spend His Life Wooing You? Sorry, Time For Some Reality Check
When I was pursuing my masters, I met a guy named Ajay. He seemed to be very interested in me and always expressed it. He said that he was attracted to me and wanted to know me better. I did not pay any heed to him. But, honestly, I was attracted to him too, it’s just that I didn’t want it to look like I was waiting for him to approach me. So, I thought I’ll not give him any bhaav for a few days and then tell him about my feelings, you know, just like the Bollywood heroines do. It had been only five days and I saw him with another woman. I figured that the girl had approached him, and he had said yes. I felt like a nincompoop for having missed an excellent dating opportunity (sigh).
A Guy And Girl Can Never Be Friends? You’re Wrong!
Bollywood movies, especially the ones that belonged to the 90s era have exaggerated this phenomenon that no guy and girl can be “just friends”. In addition to that, Bollywood taught us that if we can’t find anyone to fall in love with, we should waste no time and just fall in love with our best friend. It’s the most horrendous thing, trust me. After being in a number of failed relationships, both my best friend and I tried to go on dates with each other, keeping this Bollywood thought in mind. And it was the worst idea ever. We were on the verge of losing each other even as friends. But, thank God, we somehow solved the chaos. And now, I’m standing in a mandap watching him get married to this amazing, beautiful girl with whom he is head-over-heels in love. I’m so happy for him.
These were my moments in my life that made me realize that Bollywood is just a world of dreams. Not all that Bollywood shows or preaches about love is true. Of course, you could get lucky and find your ideal Raj or Rahul, but that’s just a possibility. Love just happens when it’s meant to and we can never have any control over it. Don’t wait for Bollywood moments in life, make your own perfect moments of love.
Have you had any experiences like mine? Leave your answers in the comments below.
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