How To Create A Parenting Plan
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You might be curious about what a parenting plan is and why it’s important, especially for separated couples who are co-parenting. A parenting plan is essentially a document used by two co-parents who live apart to help them collaborate in raising their child. Even though your romantic relationship has ended, your responsibilities to your family and children persist. With this in mind, most divorced or separated couples find it beneficial to create a plan that clearly outlines their parenting roles, values, and expectations, as well as the principles they wish to instill in their child. This parenting plan can be court-mandated or more informal. Remember, it may need adjustments as your child grows and their needs change.
1. Decide On A Normal Schedule And Coordinate
The initial step is to determine where the child will live and how often the other parent will have visitation. You can address visitation rights either in court or through private discussions, but it’s crucial to do this promptly to restore stability in your child’s life. Depending on your unique situation, you may opt for joint custody, or you might decide it’s in the child’s best interest to primarily live with one parent. Afterward, work together to arrange the practical details.
If you have a baby or a toddler try to arrange a schedule in a way that allows both parents to have some opportunity to participate in the day to day care of the baby as this is essential for bonding. If your child is a little older and in school, the school schedule may have some influence on your schedule. Decide on what days each parent gets to pick the child up from school based on availability and set it in routine. Make sure you inform your partner of any major changes like if you are moving or shifting the schedule due to work commitments. Remember, you may not be together but communication is still key.
2. Create A Plan For Holidays And Vacations
If you want to take the kids to Disney Land during their summer break but your partner decides to take them on a camping trip instead, that is going to be a major bummer. Mostly for your kids who are now busy finding twigs instead of overdosing on sugary treats. To avoid this fate and clashing of interests it is best to make some special adjustments in order to accommodate special holidays and vacations. For example, if mother’s day fell on a day where the child is usually with the father, it would make sense to make an exception for that day so that your child could celebrate mother’s day like their peers. Most parents find a way to amicably do family vacations so that they both get to spend sufficient time with their kids during the holidays and make special memories with them. If this seems out of reach for you, you can always split the time equally between yourselves or come up with another alternative.
3. Think About Special Circumstances
No parent wants to think about their child falling ill and getting into accidents but these things happen. And it is better to be prepared for it than to wonder what the protocol for alerting both parents might be if a time of emergency arises. Think about how both parents will adjust their schedules if the child is sick during visitation time. If your child prefers a specific parent to a doctor’s appointment you will have to decide if you switch days in order to accommodate their wishes.
You must also have a back up plan in case of special circumstances like funerals, a last minute business trip or other family emergencies that you cannot predict. Will your child stay with the other parent or a babysitter? Who are they allowed to stay with overnight? Make a list of candidates that you are both comfortable with in order to avoid any confusion in the future.
Trying to co-parent while navigating a divorce or separation can be tricky, but it doesn’t have to be impossible. As long as you sit down and come up with a parenting plan together, you will avoid a lot of conflicts and hiccups concerning your child in the future. Remember that you are still a family and try to be as amiable as possible. Discuss parenting keeping the needs of your child in mind and you will come up with a plan that works for everyone. Happy parenting!
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