Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever And How To Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

Love is a beautiful feeling, and being loved by the person who you love is priceless! The motley of emotions our mind experiences when in love is vast yet focussed on one person, confused yet set for one person, and inexplicable yet one could come up with a million reasons. In short, it is baffling and bewitching in the same vein.

That mushy feeling of being in love produces a dreamy romance when the relationship is at its nascent stage. But as time passes and the relationship moves to the next level, love may remain (although unexpressed and bottled up), but romance begins to die down. Romantic love doesn’t last forever as there are other priorities that push it to the back burner. If you have felt strongly that your relationship has only a feeble amount of romance left and it may soon end, read on to know as to what must be done to save your withering relationship!

Love Makes One Euphoric

Before we get to why romance flies out the window, why not take a look at what brings in the mushy, romantic feelings of young love in the first place!

Donatella Marazziti, a researcher at the University of Pisa, Italy decodes the reason behind the crazy feelings newfound love brings in. She says that the level of adrenaline and phenylethylamine (read: nerve transmitters) increases when two people are attracted towards each other. The rise in hormonal levels (found in chocolates too) drives the lovers crazy. Additionally, serotonin (aka. the “feel-good hormone”) also increases and that makes one feel obsessed or lost in thoughts, wherein one keeps reminiscing the times spent with their love (1).

A Hormonal Cocktail Inside Our Body

Recently many studies are being conducted to decipher the science of love. When we are attracted to someone, a heady cocktail of hormones kicks in our body, making us a little euphoric, a little lustful, a little protective, and very, very dreamy. Here are the hormones that go crazy in our body, making it cupid’s favourite guinea-lab!

• Oxytocin: This hormone is responsible for the feeling of emotional attachment. A sense of emotional connection between two strangers is because of destiny blended with oxytocin at work.
• Vasopressin: This hormone is the one responsible for fidelity. When you love someone, you automatically get protective of The feeling of caring for each other is nothing but vasopressin at play.
• Dopamine: This hormone is often dubbed as the “pleasure hormone.” The happy and mushy feelings when you are with your beloved is because of dopamine. Dopamine level shoots up during lovemaking too.
• Serotonin: Serotonin is the mood-lifting It is responsible for helping us experience happiness, and lights up our mood, making us feel cheerful
• Cortisol: This hormone is also called the “stress hormone.” According to experts, the level of cortisol in our bloodstream is high when we are in the early stages of a relationship.
• Additionally, it’s the pheromones produced by the sweat glands (both in men and women) that are responsible for excessive sweating at the very sight of our loved one.

These hormones form a cocktail and drive us to the brink of near-madness. In the early stages of love, the sleeplessness, the lack of appetite, the pupil dilation, excessive sweating, faster heartbeat, and that dreamy, lost look on our faces can easily be attributed to these hormones.

But Why Can’t Romance Last Forever?

The feeling of going crazy in love is beautiful but temporary. The sharp rise in longing fades away as time passes. During the evolutionary process, human beings needed this spike in emotions for survival. It would be hard if our ancestors had to feed themselves, look for food and other necessities, and protect themselves, had they been alone. Love not just created another generation, but it also helped the couples find a common motto for survival. However, in a span of less than 3 years, our nerve endings become less responsive to the surge in these “love cocktail” hormones.

Does That Mean The Relationship Ends?

We all wish to experience the magic of falling in love all over again, isn’t it? But did you know that this surge in emotions can cause a lot of stress to us? A stable heartbeat and calmer being are far more helpful than being euphoric always! The end of romance or the fading away of romance is certainly not the end of a relationship. Oxytocin and vasopressin will continue to keep the bond in a couple alive as well as strengthen it as long as the couple indulges in hugging, kissing, making love or simply talking at leisure!

If you have been experiencing a monotony in your relationship, if you feel your partner doesn’t get you flowers and chocolates like how he did in the early days, if you feel romance Is lost… let me tell you it doesn’t spell doom for your relationship! A comforting hug, a deep sense of understanding, a kiss or a long walk can do more wonders for your relationship than anything else could. On this note, I wish you and your partner a blissful relationship.

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