How To Tell A Child About An Absent Parent
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As a single parent or caregiver, you meet many obstacles every day, which through experience and practice, you learn to combat. However, one thing everyone dreads is answering your kids about the missing parent in their life. Of course, it’s something you wish your child would never ask, but the fact that it crossed their mind needs to be attended to correctly. While you would push a topic as sensitive as this for the last, you need to arrange in your mind what you will tell them, as one day or another, they will bring this up to you.
If you are unsure how to talk to them about the absent parent in their life, we are here to guide you. Read on to know how to evaluate the situation and how to approach the answer in an age-appropriate way.
1. Answer All Their Questions
Kids usually have thousands of questions to ask, and no matter how much you dread it, they will one day ask you about the missing parent in their lives. So you might as well prepare an answer beforehand. You must be very specific while answering it, as kids see right through you when you lie to them. And you don’t want their life to revolve around finding more things about the missing parent. If the parent does not want to be a part of their life, you have to ensure your child does not make it their life’s mission to win their affection. So what you answer and how you respond has a lot to do with how your child will turn out to be in the near future.
2. Prepare Your Kids For The Absence
If a parent has to be out of station for business and work purposes most of the time, it is essential that you explain to your kid about your schedule and when you will be back again. Children mostly obsess about the parent who is unavailable most of the time, and the separation will always bring a lump to your little one’s throat. This is never easy on both sides, so keeping in touch through video calls and messages is very important. You will make up for the sports day, the annual day, and all the birthdays you miss because of your work, and when you do come, make sure you give all your time to your family.
Most parents who have to be away from their kids try to make up for their absence in the form of presents. However, this is not something we recommend. A parent’s role can’t be replaced by any material gifts, so if you cannot be present at a family gathering, make up for it with your presence.
3. Talk To Them About It
Sometimes caregivers keep the real story from the children thinking they won’t understand or don’t need to know the truth. However, children are more emotionally intelligent than we give them credit for. If they are not given a valid explanation, they automatically assume that it is their fault that they have a missing parent and that it is a burden too much for their little legs to carry. So even if the absence is sudden and tragic, you must talk to your child about it age-appropriately. And if the parent is not going to come back, you need to explain that to them too rather than keep them waiting for something which will never happen.
4. Be Honest About The Absence
No matter the child’s age, the absence of either parent can be traumatic and lonesome for the child. This is when other family members have to fill in the gaps to ensure they don’t feel the absence of a particular role in their life. However, as your child grows, they will learn to compare other families with theirs and soon have questions about the missing parent. This is when you need to be very honest about the situation and explain it to them in an age-appropriate way. It could be the demise of a parent or a broken marriage that has led to the permanent absence from the child’s life.
As a parent or caregiver, it is essential that you explain to them that the lack has nothing to do with them, and even when they are not physically present, their love and blessings will always be following them. If they live in other parts of the world and want to keep in touch, you can encourage your child to talk to them or write letters to maintain the relationship. If they are no more, you can ask them to express their feelings about it openly and tell them more stories about their parents.
Talking to your kids about sensitive topics is never a favorite among parents or caregivers, but keeping your kids in the loop about such issues is essential. Kids can be overthinkers and oversensitive, which is when they take it all on themselves. As a parent, you need to make sure you leave no stone unturned to provide them with the share of love they deserve and make up for the loss of the role of the parent. So, would you like to add something to our list? Let us know in the comments section!
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