I Was Forced To Get Engaged To A Man I Didn’t Like

At times, do you agree that there is a need to say a big NO in your life? As much as I agree now, there was a time when I thought that being a naysayer was a sin that will take me straight to hell. Being the only daughter of my parents, I was certainly brought up with lots of love and care. But, at the same time, all of the decisions of my life were always taken by my parents. Never was I asked what I wanted to be. Well, even if they did ask, the only thing I wanted to be at that time was my parents’ obedient and loved daughter. I never really carved out a niche that I loved or any path that I wanted to walk on.

I lived with my parents in a small town called Hospet, in the state of Karnataka. Hospet’s primary source of income came from the tourists. And that’s because, Hampi, a World Heritage Site recognized by UNESCO is at a distance of just 7 km from our town. My dad owned a small souvenir shop in Hampi. The income derived out of this shop and the revenue we got out of our sugarcane sales made up for the income of the family. I did my schooling and my intermediate studies in Hospet. My dad wanted me to become an engineer and so I managed to get an engineering seat on merit in Bengaluru. My dad was delighted that his daughter was definitely going to be more educated than him and lead a better life. I didn’t want to leave my parents behind and go to Bengaluru. But, I had no choice.

I shifted to Bengaluru and the city welcomed me with open arms. I spread my wings of freedom here. I had a voice here. I realized that this where I wanted to be. This place would give me an opportunity to provide my family with a better life. After completing my engineering, I even landed a job in a well-known MNC. I was super-duper excited to start living an independent life. After my training period was done, I was assigned a project in Hyderabad. I had to relocate. And before doing that, I wanted to go back home to spend some quality time with my parents and take their blessings to begin this new chapter of my life. But, little did I know that something surprising (an unpleasant one) was in store for me.

As I stood waiting outside the town’s bus stand for my dad, I was thinking about how much of a positive change my parents’ decision had on me. After all, they were the ones to send me to Bengaluru to pursue my studies. I was a stronger woman now. Just then, I could see my dad walking towards me with that same calm and happy face that he had every time he came to pick me. I hugged him tight and we headed home. Our father-daughter gossip was on full swing.

When I reached home I was stunned. My house was decorated with beautiful flowers and lights (it almost seemed like it was decked up for a marriage). I entered the hall to see a stranger family awaiting me as they knew me for ages. “What the hell is going on here,” I said to myself.

On seeing me, my mom quickly took me to my room, handed me a saree and asked me to drape it onto myself and come out. I asked her what was going on. She said it’s your engagement today. Wait, what? It felt like the floor beneath me had just collapsed. I told her that I wasn’t ready for this and that I had my own dreams now. I told her that I’m relocating to Hyderabad. She told me, “From when did you start dreaming? You know the rule of the house, right? Whatever your dad decides is the final say for all of us.” These lines took me to my old self again, the obedient daughter who said, “Yes” to everything. I couldn’t argue. I didn’t know how to tell my parents a firm “No”. I wore the saree and went out. I got engaged. His name was Karthik. Just like me, he too was an engineer. I met him once after the engagement only to be even more disappointed that he wanted me to quit my job and stay at home to look after his family. I was clearly heartbroken. It looked like Karthik still belonged to this male-dominant society ( wait, didn’t I belong to one too? But, that’s dad’s love for me, right?)

Not knowing what to do, I just left for Bengaluru that very night lying to my parents about some paperwork that I needed to do to quit my job. I gave myself two days of time to relax, take a breather, and put my broken life together. I wrote down what mattered to me and what not. I also wrote down how I need to change my parents’ view about my life (Because, clearly, I am not the same little girl anymore. I’m a strong, independent woman).

The third day, I phoned Karthik and called off our engagement. I wished him luck to find a woman who would nod her way all her life to his whims and fancies. Then, I dialed the number to my parents, asked them to put the phone on loudspeaker so that both could listen to what I had to tell. I cried, I explained and I said a “NO”!

They understood after a while. And I wondered why did I take so long to just say a simple “no”? My parents were doing all of it thinking I would be better off with their decisions. Had I told them earlier that I was capable of making my own decisions, this day wouldn’t have come. I wouldn’t have been engaged to the man I didn’t like.

I’m glad I took a stand and walked out of the engagement.

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