Is Facebook Ruining Our Relationships? The Answer Lies In Several Shades Of “Yes”
Jayant is passionate writer and editor.
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It’s one of the greatest questions plaguing our generation – yes, the very same generation that Tyler Durden once famously proclaimed as “the middle children of history.” First world (in character) though the problem may be, it is a very real one that affects almost every one of us who is currently reading this sentence.
So, Facebook and relationships, do they mix? We’ve compiled some of the data and broken it down into bite-sized pieces for you to digest:
The Good
1. Facebook helps romance, by well, putting you on the map. A map that also has a lot of other varied people, and a lot of them are “singles in your area.” That’s a major boon.
2. Facebook keeps you connected to your current lover and shortens the distance between you to just the click of a chat box.
3. ____
The Bad
1. Facebook makes us insecure about who our significant other (SO) has just friended.
2. We often wonder if they’re texting the one they just friended.
3. We spend a lot of time jealously going through our SO’s feed and checking on their inbox when we get the time.
4. We get angry, defensive and jealous if they happen to like a picture of someone else of the opposite gender. Especially if we ourselves don’t know that person.
The Ugly
1. Facebook makes nosey parkers out of us all, we get a lot of information about the other person we may or may not be dating – information that they’d have revealed to us at their own pace. This creates a sense of false intimacy and fast tracks the relationship too much.
2. This information also creates another crippling problem. Where trust and intimacy would have built in up in a matter of weeks and months, it now takes hours and days. And hence we go through all of the things they liked and pretend we liked them too, except the only reason they liked that band page in the first place is because their ex played for them.
3. With Facebook around, you cannot really move on from your ex – they’re only a couple of clicks away. Even if you end up blocking them, all of the shared friends, pictures, and all that other good stuff will constantly pop up.
4. But you’re not blocking your ex, are you? You’re pursuing a new relationship – through a Facebook lead, no less – while obsessing over their status updates, photos and other activities. Pangs of jealousy, triumph and exasperation prevent you from focusing on the new relationship you’re looking toward – thus dooming it as well.
5. Things get complicated when your SO decides to friend your family on Facebook, and you (or they) decide to move on. Unnecessary complications and hassles ensue.
6. Relationship status squabbling – One half wants the world to know they’re a loving couple, the other person wants to keep mum about the whole thing, for whatever reasons. Insecurity, squabbling and break-ups ensue, spoiling what was a perfectly good relationship.
7. Facebook’s “stay connected with everyone you ever may have bumped into” feature is also one of it’s most damaging to relationships. Where a girlfriend sharing a story of how she sat next to a nice young man on the plane was just a one time unpleasant story to hear for the guy, now he has to worry about the fact that the man added her on Facebook. There may be something there or not, but you’re going to worry. Ex-flames, ex-good looking people from school, college and university, ex-people you wanted to get with but never got the chance – all fall under this category.
8. The sharing of dirty laundry for all and sundry to see. Oh, my God!
As you can see, there is a place for Facebook in all our relationships, just as there is a place for it in our lives, but too much of anything isn’t good. So if you want to give your fledgling relationship a chance, or want to move on from a past lover, log out. For a bit.
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