Leaving Baby To Cry Could Harm Their Brain Development
Babies cry. That’s their only way to communicate. And worried mothers often hear ‘you need to take a chill pill’ kinda advice from friends, family and at times even husbands. We have often been told that letting a baby cry is the best way to let them tire themselves out and sleep. So no matter how much your heart is squeezing, put up with the wails and pretend to chill. But to what extent? There has to be a measure of how much crying is good for the baby. A recent study by Neurobiologists suggests that crying for long raises the levels of stress hormone cortisol in babies. Which could be toxic for the development of their brain.
Parenting specialist Penelope Leach has a strong take against letting babies cry themselves to sleep. In her book – The Essential First Year – What Babies Need Parents to Know, Leach quotes “It is not an opinion but a fact that it’s potentially damaging to leave babies to cry”
She further explains that it’s not the regular crying but denying response to crying infants that gets them stressed.
Penelope Leach also backs up her statement with scientific data – By testing the babies saliva, scientists have measured high levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) in distressed babies. Mostly the ones who receive no response from their parents.
This does not mean that you should not let your baby cry at all. But a mother would know the difference between incessant crying and regular crying. It’s the latter that we are concerned about. When a child’s brain is in developing stage, their expectation levels are set. When the baby realizes that an expectation is not paid heed to, they learn to give up and move on. Though parents feel that they have trained their baby well, they don’t realize that the little brain is adapting to ‘no response system.’ This makes them anxious babies and later anxious adults.
According to parenting guru Penelope Leach, crying is no exercise for your baby’s lungs and they are too young to blackmail you whatsoever. Also, ignoring a wailing baby is equally difficult for a mother as it is for the child. Comforting your baby and giving them a sense of security and care is the basis of early parenting. The modern take on raising independent babies has been taken a little too far. The pace of urban lifestyle is too fast to keep up with. Fitting baby needs in it becomes an issue for most modern parents. Leach offers a direct (or even controversial) answer to them when she says “If you really, really don’t want a baby to make any difference, you could try not having one.”
Being responsive to your baby gives them an assurance that they are important and loved. A comfortable baby is more active and receptive. The best thing parents can give their child is time and attention. We witness that as babies grow their need for attention increases. So does their curiosity. This is the time their brain comprehends the surrounding and forms ideas about life. If they are not responded to in this crucial time, how do we expect to bring up smart and thinking children?
There are certain ideas we form in our head about parenting. Though these ideas make life convenient, they go against the basic nature of parent-child bonding. Being attentive to your child and making sure that they are contented with your presence is no rocket science lesson. Every mother carries this instinct at the bottom of her heart. It’s just a matter of listening to your intuition.
So the next time someone tells you to let the baby cry and chill just let them, I will calm my baby down so that both of us can chill.
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