My Husband Changed After Our Baby Was Born
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A common complaint of almost every new mother is that her partner changed completely after the birth of their child. However, let us reason with the new mum here. Her woes are reasonable. After all, she has gone through a lot during those nine months of pregnancy, and later with childbirth, both physically and emotionally. Her hormones are on a different level altogether and she has just started to look at things differently, learning everything step by step. In such times, the only pillar for support is the husband! She expects him to be by her side all the time and provide the necessary help.
Sometimes the husband might help in all the chores of the house. He might even proactively change the baby’s diapers and take time off from his work to give more time at home. So, in the midst of juggling all these things, he might unwittingly neglect his lady a little. But the mom, who is already on a roller coaster of emotions, starts analyzing this behavior in her own way.
In this process, she starts missing her husband who actually is all the time with her. Her thoughts take her back to the times when things were new and romantic; when dinners were done in dim candle lights and the mornings were greeted by the sweet-smelling potpourri by the bed. She starts missing the times when saying goodbye was painful (even if it was just for few hours) and the evenings were spent by whispering sweet nothings into each others’ ears.
Then starts the comparison of the ‘then and now’ of everything. All the things change drastically with the baby’s arrival. The dinners and lunches shrink down to one-bowl quick meals. The mornings and nights are all about juggling between work and children. Evening time is strictly for the children’s homework. Sometimes the children end up sleeping with the parents (plus a toy or two without which they cannot sleep) and the bed overflows with people.
What she or even others sometimes fail to understand is that the husband, too, has had an overwhelming nine months. He probably has spent his most critical hours outside the labor room where the love of his life is giving birth to a new life. Although his body doesn’t go under any kind of change, his mind surely does. Like his wife, he has become a parent too.
It does take some time for the dear mommy to realize this, but when the sweet realization takes place it calms her. Now, she sees things in a completely new light. She sees that her husband has changed into something new and wonderful. He has become a father and is getting good at it. This is the dream that they both had seen together. They have become a complete family now.
Their days are filled with their children’s laughter and planning their future together. He is still that strong pillar in her life, one who has shared all the responsibilities amazingly. Like her, he too has less time for his partner and for himself, but whatever little he has is pure bliss. Now, the stolen moments from their everyday life are magical, and the sheer thought of getting old with this person is exciting.
Naturally, she misses her husband, probably the way she misses her own self before a child came into their lives, which is understandable. Nevertheless, now when she looks at her husband, she sees a responsible spouse and a doting father. Just like she sees herself in the mirror, changed for the better! The romantic dinners and dates make her nostalgic, yes. But the life that she is living right now is brimming with her children’s smiles and the unconditional love of her husband.
Yes, her husband has changed after childbirth. After all, he became a father – someone who is an even better version of his earlier incredible self.
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