5 Parental Behaviors That Prevent Children From Growing Into Happy Adults
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Parenting can be tricky — you may have your child’s best interests at heart and do things to make them happy. No parent would voluntarily do something to hurt their child, but there may be instances when you do something that turns out to be bad for your little one. Many parents are guilty of specific behaviors that can do more harm than good, especially in the long run. You probably think that you know what is best for your child as a parent. However, the bitter truth is that it isn’t necessarily so.
Without your knowledge, you might be doing things that may prevent them from being sensitive, empathetic, and happy adults. Read on to understand what parental behaviors you should discard right away:
1. Not Allowing Them To Take Risks
Parents can’t help but do everything they can to protect their children from harm’s way. After all, we live in a world that offers danger at every turn. However, if you keep breathing down their necks and prevent your child from taking any risk, they will always live with regrets. By insulating them from risky situations, they will grow up to be timid, lack self-confidence, and even be prone to phobias. As much as you hate it, it’s good for your child to fall and skim that knee or experience their first heartbreak in their teenage years. Through these risks, their lives will be full of experiences, and they will be more equipped to face enormous challenges later on in life as adults (1).
2. Overindulging And Spoiling Them
We understand that as a parent, you want to give your child the world, and this would mean buying or giving them everything they ask for and indulging in every one of their wants and desires. You probably have your reasons for overindulging them. In some cases, parents do so if they can’t spend enough time with their kids, so they make up for it by buying them things. Or, it could be that you were deprived of “nice” things when you were a kid, so you want to give your child what you lacked. In other cases, parents are just too afraid of upsetting their kids and fear their tantrums. No matter the case, overindulging them will lead them to assume that material things bring joy. They will fail to see beyond toys, nice clothes, and fancy gadgets. Soon enough, they will not learn to appreciate the value of what they have (2).
3. Giving Them A Hard Time, When They Have Learning Difficulties
We want our kids to perform well at school because school paves the way to a bright future. Education is essential, no doubt, but each child learns differently. So, if you see your child struggling with their homework, don’t give them a hard time. Refrain from comparing their academic performance with other children their age. Do not put them down for what they are bad at. For example, if your child finds it hard to memorize a particular topic, do not reprimand them, call them names, or shame them. Instead, give them time to understand what they are learning or help them use another approach to learning. Learning is supposed to be fun for kids, don’t turn it into torture (3).
4. Breaking Your Own Rules
Your child looks up to you — everything you say is law, and you are an authority figure in their lives. The chances are that you have set a few rules around the house. This could be as simple as sleeping no longer than eight in the morning or refraining from talking behind someone’s back. Now, if your child catches you breaking your own rules, you will leave them feeling confused. It further shows a crack in your leadership. Watching you, your child too will assume that it is okay to break rules that they have sent, further leading to a lack of conviction and discipline (4), (5).
5. Not Sharing Your Past
Sadly, parents are under so much pressure to be perfect, blemish-free adults who have always done right. We work so hard to paint ourselves as the perfect parent instead of letting our kids know that we, too, like them, are humans. And humans make mistakes — and it’s okay to make mistakes sometimes. But this will not help your child; it will put them under immense pressure to be as “perfect” as you or what you pretend to be. Instead, talk about your faults and misfires. Give them a chance to learn from your mistakes. Let your child know that you, too, faced hard times just like them but made your way through it. In doing so, you will instill a sense of hope and resilience in them. All of us have a past, which shapes who we are today. Show your child that side of you too, so they may understand what life can sometimes offer!
If you have been guilty of the above parenting behaviors, the chances are that you are going on a guilt trip — don’t. Parenting is challenging, and we all learn as we go. Make efforts to do your best each day and know that you are doing what you can for your child’s happiness. Is there anything you would like to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below!
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