Tips For Parenting The Strong Willed Child In A Compassionate Way
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There comes a time in every parent’s life when they reach the limit of their influence on their child. One day you’ll wake up and your 10 year old will greet you with a teenage attitude that will leave you reminiscing for a time when they listened to you. Some kids are just more stubborn than others and that’s not always a bad thing. Yes, dealing with a headstrong child comes with its set of challenges but at the end of the day it means that they are not easily influenced and have a strong sense of self. They know their own mind and want to take on the world independently and fearlessly. And although they must be commended for that, they are still kids and need you (even if they don’t want to admit it). So how do you parent a strong willed child without breaking their spirit? If you’d like to know how to keep your child highly motivated but parent them in a compassionate and effective way, keep reading!
1. Don’t Make Yourself The Enemy
You can have disagreements without making yourself your child’s enemy, and that is the first thing you must learn if you want to get through to your strong willed child. Having the “my way or the highway” mentality is not going to do you any favors in this situation. Being a dictator as a parent will only drive your child away from you and make you the enemy, which means they will be even less likely to listen to you.
You are your child’s parent, and you are there to support them and guide them. Don’t make everything a battle of the wills. Also keep in mind that just like every other child, you cannot expect your strong willed little one to obey you all the time. Becoming a forceful and strict parent will only make them distance themselves from you more and soon you won’t be able to get through to them at all.
2. Instill Your Morals Without Forcing Your Viewpoint
Strong willed children become determined adults. So, if you want your children to have good morals and character as adults, then you need to guide them by example. There is no forcing your strong willed child to believe what you believe. However, by living a virtuous life you lead by example and your children will take note of that as they learn through observation. It’s okay to teach them to be kind, compassionate and decent people. But you cannot expect them to believe in every ideology you have adopted throughout your life as everyone has their own unique life experiences. Keep in mind that if you want your child to have good morals, practice what you preach.
3. Listen To Their Reasons
Listening is an often overlooked skill but holds tremendous value. Actively listening to your children can prevent unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings. When dealing with a strong-willed child, it’s essential to remember that there’s usually a reason behind their behavior. Before jumping to conclusions, provide them with the opportunity to express themselves. Ask why they are doing what they’re doing in a non-confrontational manner, showing that you seek context rather than being upset with them. Children might not always be logical, but chances are they have a purpose behind their actions. Allowing them to explain themselves fosters a deeper understanding of your child and their decisions.
4. They Need To Know Why
Similarly, when you want your strong willed child to do something specific, you need to give them context and explain why. Many parents think that they don’t owe their kids an explanation or reasoning behind the things they ask of them, but your child is not going to blindly do what anyone says, including you. So, it’s best to give them the reason behind your request so that it is easier for them to make sense of it. For example, you could explain to your child who is jumping on the bed that you don’t want them to get hurt or break a bone, like you did when you were a kid. Your strong willed champ will not take rules at face value so be prepared to explain them and the consequences of not following them in detail.
Parenting a strong willed child is not easy but that doesn’t mean that you cannot be compassionate and cordial with them as you figure out your dynamic together. At the end of the day you want what’s best for your kids and you both belong on the same team. With a few things in mind, you and your little one will have a healthy thriving relationship. At least you don’t have to be worried about them giving into peer pressure right? Happy parenting!
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