Phrases That Can Be Harmful To Your Kid, And Things To Say Instead
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Careless words can have a long term effect on your children.We all want what’s best for our kids and would do anything to ensure that they grow up to be happy and successful people. But sometimes parents can be a bit harsh unintentionally. It’s important to pay attention to what you say to your kids as they absorb everything you do and say. So, even throwing around seemingly harmless phrases that you’ve heard your own parents use may have long lasting negative effects that you didn’t see coming. So, it’s best to substitute them with words that do a better job of putting your intentions across in a polite manner. Here are a few phrases to avoid and what to say in their stead.
1. Avoid: Hurry Up And Get Going
This is a common one that you probably thought had no consequences. But you need to understand that little children don’t have a grasp on the concept of time. So asking them to hurry up won’t do the trick. In fact, all it does is make them stressed out and anxious. And you do not want to deal with an anxious 5 year old! It’s best to be specific and give them detailed instructions. Children like structure so telling them to executive a set of steps will work much better.
Instead, include yourself in the process. Say things like “Let’s hurry” or “Let’s see who puts their shoes on the fastest”. This way your child will feel like you are working with them instead of just ordering them about. Remember, you want your child to know that you are on the same team. Teamwork makes the dream work!
2. Avoid: I’m So Proud Of You
While we all desire our children to understand that we are proud of their achievements, it’s even more crucial for them to experience a personal sense of accomplishment and pride when they excel. Use phrases like “You must be so proud of yourself for your great performance” or “You solved that puzzle so quickly.” It’s worth noting that when parents lavish praise on children for every minor task, like finishing a meal or drawing a picture, the praise loses its significance. Instead, focus on offering specific praise for your child’s genuine accomplishments and inspire them to be self-evaluative and proud of their significant achievements or areas of keen interest.
3. Avoid: Why Do I Always Have To Repeat Myself
Probably because you’re talking to a little child. We’ve all heard this line throughout our childhood. The problem is that it doesn’t pose an actual question. It’s just a way for parents to complain about having to repeat themselves to their children when they don’t understand or aren’t paying attention to them. Instead of this ask them what they have difficulty understanding or why they are not paying attention to you. This will save you a lot of time and energy.
In fact, it is better to help them along. Say things like “Let me explain it to you and tell me if you don’t understand something” or “Let me teach you how to do it”. This will show them that you are on their side and that you are happy to help them. All children develop differently, so take the time to be patient with your child.
4. Avoid: Because I Said So
This will get you absolutely nowhere with your kids. Your children may be small but they are smart and they will want to know why you need them to do certain things. For example, if your child has been playing video games for hours and you’d like them to turn it off and do something productive, asking them to do it just because you said so will not make the cut.
So, what do you do? You have to give them a legitimate reason. They don’t need to like the reason, but they need to know that you’re making them do things with certain intentions in mind. You can tell them to stop playing the game and go finish up their homework so that they don’t get into trouble at school. Or ask them to help you with chores. The goal is to encourage your kids to listen to you without controlling them or diminishing their right to know why they are doing one action instead of another.
Parenting is never easy and it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you learn and move on from them. Make sure you substitute these phrases with positive ones so that your kids don’t suffer the consequences of their negative implications. Is there something we’ve missed out on? Let us know in the comments section. Happy parenting!
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