10 Phrases That Can Ultimately Destroy Your Relationship
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Relationships are delicate and need to be handled with care if you want them to last forever. However, fights and arguments can throw that care out of the window and lead to some serious damages – especially if you employ certain words and phrases, which are beyond hurtful and imply that you couldn’t give a damn, even when you do.
So, if you don’t want your relationship to suffer a disastrous fate, be patient and tactful even during heated arguments and never utter the following 10 phrases!
1. “Do Whatever You Want.”
Being passive-aggressive in a fight is a common thing to do and comes naturally, but you have to realize that such an answer can wreck things further. You distance and offend your partner by telling them to do whatever they want. Instead of such hostility, try compromising by discussing what you can do together.
2. “You Never Help Out.”
Playing the blame game might seem easy but it is definitely not wise. Even in scenarios where you’re not getting the help you want, try to get your point across in a gentle manner, such as by saying, “It’s hard for me to handle all this without you.” A positive statement like this will help in building a solid partnership.
3. “You Did This On Purpose.”
Don’t jump the gun and judge your partner before even knowing the facts. Your partner really wouldn’t intentionally try to harm you in any way. So, try not being defensive and instead acknowledge the fact that whatever happened was nothing more than an accident – and say as much too! Even if you’re upset.
4. “You’ll Never Lose Weight This Way.”
Listen to it yourself. Doesn’t it sound very discouraging and demeaning? Do you really want to put down the one you love? If ‘no’ is the answer (and we hope it is), then it’s time to adopt a positive approach. Appreciate your partner’s efforts, even if they are small, and inspire faith in them by telling them they can do it.
5. “You Need More Exercise.”
This is in the same line as #4. In fact, it’s worse as you unconsciously highlight your own fitness and the lack of it in your partner, which can make them defensive. Instead of saying this, if you tell them “Let’s take a walk together,” they’ll feel encouraged to indulge in activities that keep them healthy. Plus, you’ll get some valuable bonding time!
6. “I Told You So!”
Ah, the smug satisfaction that you feel when saying this is incomparable. But it makes your partner feel small and like it’s all their fault, even though they made a mistake. You have to handle this situation with care instead of rubbing salt on their wounds. Saying something like “Let’s try a different approach the next time” would be better.
7. “Just Be Grateful It’s Not Worse.”
On the surface, this seems like a perfectly nice thing to say. But if you dig deeper and place yourself in the listener’s shoes, then not so much. Comparing your partner’s hardships to those who have it worse is rather insensitive and can make your partner feel that you don’t care about their emotions and that you’re trying to put them on a guilt trip. Try comforting them instead with words like “I’m sorry you had to go through this.”
8. “Yes, I Heard You The First Time.”
Generally, people only repeat those things that are important to them. So, if you have a déjà vu about something your partner said, don’t snap at them. Their intent is not to annoy you. They just want you to participate and share their feelings. Show some empathy to your beloved by telling them, “It seems like this is very important for you.” They really just want your full attention.
9. “Why Didn’t You Resign Sooner If You Hate Working There So Much?”
Okay, this is one of those dangerous ones. You have to realize that people continue with a job when in a relationship because they have duties to fulfil and can’t act irresponsible or immature. A display of empathy or sympathy is all they need when they vent out their pent-up frustration. Something like “It seems like you really had to put up with a lot” would work better.
10. “It’s Okay.”
Another apparently innocent one, it’s not okay to say, “It’s okay.” Especially when you don’t really mean it. When your partner apologizes to you for something, the gracious and sensible thing to do is to accept that apology and get over whatever may have happened. Tell them “I accept your apology” instead of saying “It’s okay,” so that whatever hurt you doesn’t happen again.
No relationship is ever easy. Not even the happiest ones. A lot of hard work goes into building a good relationship. So, make sure you do your bit by never uttering the above phrases!
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