Raising Your Second Child May Be More Challenging Than Your First
Embracing motherhood for the second time may not be the same as the first. Though there are a certain number of plusses to being a second-time mom, you probably have a lot on your plate now. You might have become a pro in what to eat and drink during and post-pregnancy. You now know what to expect during labor and childbirth. I know I do! And how to be prepared for everything that pregnancy and childbirth throw at you. But taking care of two kids maybe a lot, physically and emotionally for a parent. And it can be a bit overwhelming at times. Having experience in parenting two kids, here’s my take on it.
While I was ready to welcome my second bundle of joy, little did I know how tough raising a baby and a 2-year toddler simultaneously would be. Now that my attention was divided between the two, my firstborn would often become jealous. He would ask me to play with him when I was busy breastfeeding or pumping milk. Of course, I couldn’t just leave what I’m doing. This caused him to become more aggressive and resort to tantrums whenever he didn’t get his way. Also, meeting the needs of both my kids left me exhausted. I had no time to sleep, shower or eat.
Just getting out the door with two kids was a real task. There were days I felt like banging my head against the door. While I would strap my younger one to the car seat, my eldest would refuse to put on his coat. And just as I am about to start the car, either I or somebody else would want to pee. Having two kids is double the responsibility and double the work, I’ll tell you that much.
And because my youngest had a big brother to look up to, she would always try to imitate everything he does. She would want to sit forward-facing when we are traveling just like her brother. She would cry and make a fuss to use the big swing her brother swings in the park. Basically, she would want to do everything her brother does. I would be lying if I said it was just bad moments. Because there were moments when I found this behavior of hers adorable as well.
When I meet fellow moms at a party or function, our convo inevitably ends up about our kids after 2 minutes of random chitchat. The one thing we always agree on is that you cannot expect to be the same parent with your second child. You would be naive to think that you are going to relive your motherhood experience again, whether good or bad. Of course, it would be more challenging. You are parenting two kids simultaneously. They are two different individuals with different personalities. There are going to be sleepless nights and nonstop sibling fights. It might even take a toll on your relationship and your sexual drive might go down the drain for a while. Who has the time to have fun between the sheets when two tiny humans constantly need your love and attention? Right? Wrong!
Agreed that things are going to be hard. So the best thing you can do is accept it and make room for some fun as well. Plan a small picnic with your kids and husband. Or go for a romantic night out by arranging a babysitter. You cannot escape being a mother or run away from your responsibilities but you can sure as hell take some time out without feeling guilty about it. Also, make sure your partner is also as involved as you are in parenting both your kids. And if you are wondering if given a chance I would trade being a mother of two to parenting one, my answer is no. This is what we have always wanted. And though it’s double the work, it’s twice the amount of fun with two kids in the house. You are never going to have a dull moment. Christmas and New year is definitely a lot more fun than it used to be when it was just us.
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