3 Signs That You And Your Partner Suck At Communication And How You Can Fix It
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While a relationship stands on many key pillars, the foundation of it all is a strong rapport and even better communication skills. Both you and your partner have to know how to talk to each other and get your points across without sounding offensive, insensitive or even indifferent.
However, great communication skills are not a talent everyone’s born with. It’s not something you might be able to get right at the very start of your relationship either. Both of you will have to work hard and try to develop it to the best of your ability as it can really save you from a LOT of troubles. Even a breakup!
That said, communicating effectively does not mean simply saying the right things at the right time. So, throw that misconception right out of the window! It’s much deeper than that and encompasses a sense of understandings as well as healthy habits. You have to constantly work every day to make yourself a better partner.
This means it’s time to put your relationship under the scanner and find out if you and your partner share healthy communication (both verbal and non-verbal) or if you have to work on it.
In that spirit, here are 3 signs of poor communication between a couple, according to relationship gurus, as well as ways on how to fix them!
1. Both Of You Talk To Each Other With A Closed Mind
As soon as your partner says something that is not in line with your belief system, you enter into judgment mode and mentally (if not openly and verbally) criticize your partner for having the views they do. And your partner probably does the same. Now this is a sign that communication between the two of you is way off and definitely needs improvement.
How To Fix This: Open-mindedness is vital for any kind of relationship, particularly in the case of romantic couples. When you talk to each other without judging, you strengthen your relationship, ensuring that it lasts long. Besides, it also makes solving arguments and conflicts much easier. To inculcate a sense of open-mindedness, you have to try and view things from your partner’s perspective. Start with small things and then move on to the bigger issues so that it can be easier. Try not to judge at all and instead, empathize. This’ll help you and your relationship in a major way.
2. You Consciously Avoid Arguing With Each Other
Maintaining peace is a good thing. But maintaining superficial peace with a storm harboring within is far from it. Conflicts and arguments are inevitable occurrences in every relationship. There’s no escaping them. However, if you consciously avoid them for the fear of being severely judged, for “preventing” your relationship from falling apart, or just thinking your partner won’t understand, then there’s something wrong with the way you guys talk to each other.
How To Fix This: Face the arguments head on instead of running away from them. That’s the most surefire way of fixing this sign of poor communication. When you tackle the arguments as they come, you achieve clarity, a resolution to the problem, and prevent bitterness from settling in. In fact, the most secure and stable couples are not afraid to argue and disagree. They simply find a way to compromise so that they can strengthen their love further.
3. You Don’t Inform Each Other Of Your Whereabouts When Not Together
In a way, that’s like actively hiding things. So, if you or your partner commonly “forget” to inform each other of your whereabouts or what you’re doing, you can expect trouble to follow. Part of great communication skills is maintaining transparency with each other and keeping each other in the loop. Both you and your partner have the right to be informed of what’s going on in your respective lives. However, if you never do that, it could mean one of two things – either you don’t want the person in your life or you don’t know how to communicate.
How To Fix This: Since we’re only focusing on the communication aspect, our solution will center on how to improve it. And it’s pretty simple. Be proactive. For example, if you have to work late one night, pick up your phone and at least text your partner and state the reason clearly if you don’t have the time to call. If you want to hang out with your friends on Saturday instead of having a romantic dinner, let your partner know. Whatever goes on in your life, make sure partner is in the loop. Include them in everything instead of expecting them to figure things out on their own.
If you notice the above symptoms of bad communication in your relationship, it’s time for you to take a stand and make things better before they escalate and spiral out of control. All it takes is a little effort and a few right words to get started on the journey of a healthy and long-lasting relationship.
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