If You’re Doing These Things, You’re Damaging Your Relationship
shivani k 
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Every relationship starts with a spark, isn’t it? That spark is what connects two people. Then there’s a curiosity to know everything about each other. What he likes, which brand of dress she’s found of, which motorsport interests him, how emotional is she, what his dreams are, etc. After exploring each other’s body, mind, and their different perspectives on the world and life is when the magic dust begins to settle in. And this is where reality begins to kick in and the recess bell starts to ring. This is when the building of an actual relationship begins.
And trust me, this is when you need to give your all to make the relationship work. There’s so much for the two of you to acknowledge and take care of. His wiring, your past, family dynamics, fears, attachment styles, old tugs. It’s pretty much like dopamine in discovering a new world together.
You must have noticed that he’s going out with an old friend of his who is a girl. You know that they are just friends but still, somehow you get trapped in an insecure avatar and behave mean towards him. This snaps him off and there’s a fight that prolongs for good two or more days. This wasn’t necessary, right? Remember one thing, dear love birds, that in a relationship you’re either growing together or you’re growing apart!
Every relationship has problems and sometimes that problem can be an inward one too. Here are a few areas that I’ve laid down for you. Give it a look and see if you’re doing things that end up damaging your relationship.
1. Blocking Your Partner’s Self Expressions
There must be two voices in a relationship. You cannot block whatever your partner wants to tell you by holding your defense. Truly listening to each other over every matter of your lives is what forms the soil for the foundation. If you’re not allowing your partner to talk, you’re making your partner feel that you just don’t care about his/her feelings. You are just forcing your partner to accept whatever you say or do in life.
Remember peeps, the souls who walk on a defensive path will reach nowhere! Therefore, you need to allow your partner to speak. At least listen up if you don’t want to agree! Once you both have spoken about your takes on a problem, then you could start talking about the differences.
2. Nurturing Resentment And Anger
If there’s anything that can destroy a relationship it is holding onto anger. You know of that saying about not going to bed angry? That one’s a legit peeps! We might opt for resentment to avoid fights or because we just don’t want any confrontation. But doing it turns it into a bad virus that starts eating up a relationship. Therefore, every day before going to sleep makes it a point to untangle all the mess and sleep with a peaceful heart.
3. Not Having Your Own Identity Anymore
It’s nice to be in a relationship, it’s nice to make your world revolve around your partner’s, but it’s just not done to let go off your individual life. I’ve seen people making no time for a hobby they loved doing after they entered a love-relationship. Always remember that you should never let go of what you loved doing. If you love spending weekends with your partner, try and keep at least an hour each day to do what you love. Don’t push your friends aside. Don’t forget about your passionate interests. Don’t ditch those solo travels you always wanted to go on. Don’t create a blurry life for yourself because of a relationship.
4. Absence Of Respect For Your Partner
A relationship is nothing without respect. It’s almost like ground zero. When you don’t respect your SO, it’s impossible to establish trust between the two of you. You must have been respecting your partner in the beginning. And then there could have been infidelity that changed your SO as a person. Or you both made some choices that led to the disappearance of respect. Maybe unhappiness sprouted and grew into a tree that separated respect from your relationship. Reasons could be plenty for you to have lost respect for your partner.
But remember that when you don’t respect a particular person, you don’t treat them well. You visualize them in the cape of a villain. You don’t have any tolerance towards them. Although respect needs to be earned, I want you to also consider all the moments you’ve shared as a couple. Find the moment that caused a crack and fill that up. Everybody makes mistakes, and this one is somebody you love, right? If you’re wrong, acknowledge it. If your partner’s made a mistake, help your SO come back to the right track. Don’t abandon your relationship and harbor disrespect.
Do you agree with whatever I tried to explain? Leave your thoughts about this in the comments below. And happy loving (heart).
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