6 Signs You’re Not Getting Enough Love
anjala farahath .
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A wise man who uttered nothing but wisdom and penned down nothing less than words of magic, once said that “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” What we are today is a reflection of a series of life events and experiences. Events and experiences that broke us, molded us, shaped us, nurtured us, and refined us.
All through our years of growing up and learning, we unconsciously pick up and mirror emotions, behaviors, and values from our immediate milieu. These intangible sentiments seep deep into our personalities and influence our life vastly. But, amongst these sentiments, the most important one is that of love — to love and to be loved. So, how much love is enough? If you identify the following signs in yourself, you know that you’re not getting enough love!
1. You’re Stressed All The Time
Be it at work, at a friend’s party, or at home, you are stressed all the time. The thoughts and fears lingering at the back of your head have really created havoc in your life. And these thoughts and fears are often related to those who you really love (your friends and family), but the problem is the ones you love don’t seem to give you enough attention. The repercussions of which are sleepless nights, overeating, restlessness, and anxiety (1).
2. You’re Worried About ‘Log Kya Kahenge’
Every step you take feels like a mistake. You are extremely cautious of the words you speak and the actions you take. You gauge everything you do and are always worrying about what others might think. This is simply because you wish to be in their good books. The constant need to please others stems from the desire to nurture and build relationships (2). So, when we’re making an effort to be liked by everyone, we are actually masking our fear of being bereft of friendships, love, and casual connections. But, a constant effort to map out our behaviour to please others will lead to anxiety and insecurity.
3. You Live In Self-Doubt
No matter what you’re doing, no matter how successful you are, and irrespective of how flawless you are, there’s always a cloud of self-doubt that’s hovering over your head. With time, this cloud gets heavier and frequently sprinkles you with feelings of insufficiency and incompetency. You feel like you’re not enough. You eventually become cautious of everything in your life. You are painfully self-aware, so much that all your achievements take a backseat and your flaws take the limelight. Feeling unloved and uncared for makes one sink into a timid despair. Lack of love in one’s life can make one extremely insecure and leave one feeling insignificant (3).
4. You Dread Spending Time With Them
Who is it that you dread spending time with? Is it your family? Or your friends? Whatever the case may be, you shouldn’t be afraid of spending time with them. This fear only means that you are afraid of conflict that could arise out of these shared moments. You find it hard to be around your family or friends because it only makes you feel weak and you are always looking for an escape route.
5. You Build A Wall For Yourself
When you fail to receive love from where you seek, everything else becomes a blur. As a result of which, you tend to build a wall for yourself and withdraw from social interactions. You become introverted and shy. Dysfunctional homes, a neglected childhood, and other negative experiences may just be the reasons to inch you closer to Emotional Deprivation Disorder (EPD) (4). EPD further reinforces feelings of insufficiency, rejection, and an unhealthy need for validation and approval. Although you long to be in loving, supportive, and monogamous romantic relationships, you tread those paths with utmost care. Not receiving enough love is like the missing part of a jigsaw puzzle. You feel the void all the time.
6. You Look For Love Elsewhere
Love is such a strong emotion that it can make or break a person. It gives deeper meaning to life. When we feel loved, it’s all butterflies and rainbows; it makes us feel alive. We have all heard the colloquial phrase “Home is where the heart is.” But, it’s also true that where there’s love, one feels at home. If one hasn’t sometimes, they then find love in raising pets; meanwhile, others follow their passion, and some people find partners for themselves. It’s like supplementing your body with multivitamins because your body is deficient. You can’t do without it, so you have to get it from other sources.
Love is what keeps us going. And if you thought love was limited to lovers alone, think again. We are introduced to love at a young age, and we learn it from our immediate family. But, when this love fades and starts to wane, it hurts. And it is a whole new world of grief if you haven’t received that love at all. Sometimes, it stings to an extent that it dictates your individuality.
Do you agree with our assessment of love? How important is love in your life? Do share your views in the comments below!
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