4 Steps To Help Your Child Adjust To A New Sibling at Home
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Every parent wants to give their child their undivided attention and love. However, this may get a little tricky if you have many children. They all want you to themselves and catering to their individual needs is important. Although you might eventually find your footing and settle into a routine with your kids, the first couple of months after the new baby comes home can be very tumultuous and unsettling for you and your older kids. After all, the family dynamic is changing and the role of the older sibling is magnified. One way to ensure that your kids are excited for the new arrival is to get them involved. Sharing is never easy, especially if it’s your mom and dad, so here are some ways in which you can get your child to get onboard with their new sibling and help them adjust with everything that comes with it.
1. Prepare Your Older Child Before The Baby Is Born
Your goal should be to make your children best friends before your baby is born. One way to ensure that your older kids are ready for the new baby is to tell them about the baby as soon as possible. Don’t wait too long to tell your kids that there is another baby on the way. This will give them more time to adjust to the information and become comfortable with the idea of a new family member. So, having that conversation is a must. The key is to indicate that the inclusion of a new baby is a good thing for the family. If you’re excited, your kids will join in and share your reaction in no time.
Let them touch your belly and feel the baby kick. Let them talk or sing to them during bedtime. Include them while decorating the nursery and planning fun stuff for your kids to do together. Moreover, if anything in your child’s life needs to be shifted around, be it their schedule or their room, do it well in advance so that they have a chance to settle down before the baby arrives.
2. Don’t Blame Everything On The Baby
Once the baby is here, don’t use them as a scapegoat, even if they are the reason that your little one can’t go to the park that day. Be careful about using the baby as an excuse when you can’t do something. This will only make your child resent the baby as they see them as a hindrance. Instead try to give them another legitimate reason or at least word it carefully in a way that doesn’t implicate your baby. Make sure that the messaging doesn’t convey that your older child’s setbacks are your baby’s fault.
3. Stick To The Usual Routine
With your entire household turning upside down, kids need some kind of stability to keep them grounded. One way to keep your child from getting anxious and restless about all the overwhelming changes at home is to stick to a routine. Granted this is more easier said than done as the new baby and mommy are on a whole other schedule altogether but join in when you can. Setting a specific bedtime and daytime routine for your child will work wonders. The key is to keep things as close to normal as possible. If they had a schedule before the baby got here, let them follow it. If you used to read them a bedtime story, continue to do so. Try not to disrupt their lives as much as possible.
4. Acknowledge The Older Child’s Feelings
The worst thing you could do at this time is to brush your child’s feelings off or scold them for feeling a certain way. It’s okay to have negative emotions to change. It’s completely normal! So don’t flip out when your child acts out. Let them know that you understand why they are upset and it’s fine if they feel angry or upset. After all, anyone would find a crying baby frustrating after a while. Reassure them that you will love them no matter what and that their younger sibling does not take away from this love.
If they make big statements like “I hate this baby” don’t have an outburst and tell them that they are wrong or bad for feeling that way. It may be painful to hear but convincing your child to love their sibling is never going to work. Instead, let them know that this is a phase and that as the baby grows, they can interact more and be buddies. Hopefully they’ll start to take care of the baby in time. The acknowledgment of their emotions will ease the initial intensity of their negative reactions.
Juggling between the new baby and your other little kids is always a challenge. But there are ways in which your oldest can adjust when another sibling joins the family. It may take time and patience but practicing these steps can help. Happy parenting!
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