This Is What Taking Care Of Yourself Really Looks Like
shivani k 
Image: Shutterstock
What do you think, who could be the sole reason behind all those unhappy, sleepless nights? If you don’t find enough reasons to weigh down and blame another human around you, that’s okay! (It doesn’t mean that you need to don that investigator hat and search for clues as to who is wrong or what went wrong that you’re this unhappy) In times like these, I suggest you go stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself. The person you’re searching for (the reason to be discontent) could be you.
A Snippet Of My Journey
You don’t have to feel bad about it. I’ve been in your shoes too. I come from a typical middle-class family in India. And the struggle is real for people who belong to this class in India. And I am my parents’ only child which means their future depends on how well I fare in my life. And to make things worse, due to the norms of the Indian society a girl doesn’t really have that much time to sit and plan her career as after certain age (typically between 23-26) she starts being troubled by everyone around her to tie the matrimonial knot. So, whatever I had to do in my life for my parents I had to do it keeping time in mind.
And my hard work for a better life for my parents started right from tenth grade when I wrote my first board exams. Then came my 12th board exams, then those innumerable competitive exams, if I used to get done with one another one would come knocking at my doorstep. I didn’t really have to just study, I had to help my mother in household chores as well. My parents were proud of me. And I was content with just that in life. Years passed by and my hard work started to show colors. I finished my graduation and I got placed in a very reputed MNC company with a really good pay. I felt secure for my parents, for myself now. I could finally breathe.
But, this was short lived. In just my second year at the company, I started to become very frustrated. Something just felt wasn’t right. I felt like a machine working 24×7. I finally was where I wanted to be and I still wasn’t happy. I started to pick fights with all the near and dear ones around me. I wondered what kept me so unhappy. I’d bought dad the watch I’d always dreamt for him to wear, that Mysore silk saree my mother thought she could never afford in this lifetime, and I was still very unhappy.
One day I stood in front of the little mirror in my room and found my answer. The answer was me. I wasn’t happy. I cared about keeping others around me happy, but I clearly wasn’t doing anything for myself. And now my soul had been burdened with the thought that it wasn’t getting the love it was supposed to. I had to love myself. I searched the cyberspace to understand more about my problem and I understood the term “self-care” was missing in my life. I had stopped to do the things I love doing, the things that made me alive. I was years since I had penned down a poem, and I never planned that solo trip to the Himalayas which I always dreamt of when I couldn’t afford it and now that I could I had forgotten the dream.
1. Know Your Worth
My problem didn’t just lay in fulfilling all those wishes of mine that were put on the backseat by me. I found it tough to be normal. I had to find ways to take care of myself. And one day I took an off from work and sat at home and wrote down these points to find the resilience to bounce back stronger in my life.
2. You Matter
Always remember to tell this to yourself. Self-care is all about building yourself, finding peace with your soul. Spend time in assuring yourself this.
3. Be Nice. Be Patient
You need to understand that you cannot please everyone around you. Allow yourself some time to even grieve. Be nice to yourself first. Spend time doing things that help you relax and rewind. “Read that Inner Engineering book of Sadhguru”, I told myself.
4. Invest In You
Make sure you have time for yourself. Your happiness depends on you. Therefore, follow those dreams of yours. Create a faith path for yourself to walk upon where you connect with your soul best. Do things you love.
5. Learn To Say “No”
Keep away from situations or people who could turn the negative switch on in your life. Self-care is all about protecting yourself from anything that would harm you. You need to understand what would keep you happy in the long run.
6. Learn From The Past And Focus Forward
You’re human after all. Don’t hurt yourself because of the mistakes you did in your past. Learn from them and move on. Self-care is all about moving forward in your life with utmost love for yourself.
7. Be Proud Of You
Whenever you made it through the high or the low tides treat yourself. Go on a date with yourself. Learn ways to love yourself better.
When I wrote these down I swore to follow them all my life. I wanted to be me, a stronger, and a more loved version of me. And from there on I began my journey of taking care of me.
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