10 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self – I Wish I Had Done It Differently, But It’s Never Too Late.
anjala farahath .
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We are all a product of our past, aren’t we? I’m not heading a Philosophy session here. I’m talking about something as basic as reflecting on the things that we did as kids and teenagers. Be it the choices we made, the boys or girls we dated or the time that we wasted, don’t we all have certain things in life that we wish we had done differently? And in hindsight, if we had done them differently, we would be different people today, right? I have a long list of such things, but it’s a shame that I can only look back and sigh with disappointment.
I definitely can’t take the time machine to my early days of teenage, and neither am I in possession of a time-turner like Hermione was, so there’s no hope or scope there. But, if I had a chance to give my younger self a piece of advice, this would be it:
1. Stop Running Behind That Boy!
We all have that one high-school crush or infatuation or boyfriend that we look back at and just cringe. I am not any different from the rest of you — I’m guilty of running behind someone who was as toxic as the poison from the drugstore. Well, the thing about such toxic people is that they impact our lives so much that we tend to change ourselves. A large chunk of my school days was ruined because I focused more on this boy rather than focussing on the annual day functions, school trips, and inter-school competitions. See, the thing is that this boy was responsible for my low self-confidence and introverted nature, but these trips and competitions would have made me a person full of confidence and carefree attitude. So, stop running behind that toxic person!
2. When You Need Help, Ask For it
Two years ago, while driving, I lost my way and drove myself outside the city — like 170 km outside. Then I had an empty fuel tank, no network, and weepy eyes. This could be easily avoided. All I had to do was, ask someone which way I had to go. Obviously, my proud self-didn’t allow me to do that! The problem is that we tend to think that we are old enough to handle ourselves when we can barely differentiate between rationality and tomfoolery. So, when we find ourselves in trouble or in a situation that seems like there’s no way out, or even if it’s a silly doubt, ask for help.
3. Stop Caring About “Log Kya Kahenge”
This one is befitting at any point in life. The mistake we do is, we tend to please people to a fault at times. And because of this pleasing-people-syndrome, we end up making the wrong decisions. For instance, I chose Science just to please my khaandaan (the extended family). Don’t think too much about the Chaar log and what the people will say if you think it’s good for you, do it. Because people will have plenty to tittle-tattle about anyway.
4. Save Money For Yourself And Never Make Joint Accounts
This isn’t something I can tell my younger self, because I barely had money then (or I just spent it all, you see where the problem was?). Instead of spending money on dinner treats, birthday treats, lending it to friends who never repaid the loan, save the money. Learn how o manage your money, because this skill comes a long way. And when you do save money, never have a joint account with your friend or your boyfriend, because that takes away our financial independence.
5. Listen To Your Parents
It is virtually impossible to persuade our younger selves to listen to our parents, But, now that I look back at the pearls of wisdom they mouthed every now and then, I regret not listening to them. Mom was right about that boy being a jerk, and dad was right about me not focusing on my fitness and health.
6. Don’t Stop Learning
No matter how well-informed and educated you think you are, always keep yourself open to learning new things. Be it a new dance move, or a lesson on world political scenario, learn. Because this will save you from great embarrassment in your future when you are having conversations with the smarter lot.
7. If You Are Passionate About Something, Don’t Let That Go
What is that you loved doing the most as an adolescent? (I am not talking about binge-watching shows and stuffing ourselves with junk food or getting cozy with our boyfriends/girlfriends) If you are passionate about a particular sport like Basketball, or a subject like Music, pursue it. Don’t waste your time, make use of it and polish your passion. I should have continued to play Basketball for the college team and I should have gone for the Nationals selections. That’s a heartbreaking regret!
8. Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin
There will be girls and boys who are prettier than you and smarter than you. But, that does’nt mean you aren’t pretty or you aren’t smart. You are amazing just the way you are. And, be proud of it. Don’t put yourself through emotional and physical torture to be someone you are not.
9. Don’t Follow The Herd
Sure, Sharma ji’s daughter must be pursuing her Masters in the UK, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. Neither do you have to follow the herd and nod in unison when you don’t agree with other people’s ideologies and value system. You have every right to put forth your views and your ideas. Be proud of who you are and it’s okay to be different! Being different doesn’t mean that you are a black sheep of the society.
10. Take Care Of Your Body And Mind
This one is important. Focus on your food habits and your lifestyle. Don’t neglect your body, because you have to live with it. Eat right, sleep right, and exercise right. Don’t get tattoos or piercings that will lose meaning with time. Your mental and physical being should be your priority. Nothing is more important than yourself.
There’s so much that I would want to tell my younger self that the list could go on and on and you would have to get some munchies for yourself. But, one thing I would emphasize on is — to believe in yourself. Being the die-hard Virgo that I am, I often found myself drowning in self-doubt and self-criticism. The line between introspection and self-criticism has blurred so much that I stepped back from some great opportunities. Had I believed in myself, I would have been in a different place today (perhaps, playing for the Indian Basketball team).
But having said all that, everything has its own time and phase, so I might know more now, but it’s all a part of growing up. We can only look back and say, “Damn it, should have done it better!” Such is life, right?
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