20 Ways One Could Tell You Are A Breastfeeding Mom
Time for your baby’s next feed? March ahead… the mommy think-tanks know right away that you are a lactating mom. Here’s how:
1. You will detest the men staring at you, criticizing you or jeering at you (read – ‘your ability to’) breastfeed your baby. So you jeer back at them, with some teasing that he can take home traumatised. Then what, you have the last laugh!
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2. Awww…..if Mr. Bean could do that – get it right – of never separating his stuffed toy from him – then as a mother, you would go a step ahead. You will want to have your baby latched onto your bosom all the time.
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3. Yes, given your macho narcissism – you post your images of your abs, we aren’t deprived of posting Instagram images of a little more holier act.
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4. Food, food, food……you can (and must) eat loads of foods. Craving a milkshake with almonds and walnuts topped with cream? Want to dig into your favourite pies and tarts? Give it a go…
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5. And guess what, despite all the calorie-intake you won’t put on the weight. Isn’t it awesome?
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6. But still there is something that you refrain from. Gosh, the austerities! When do they end!
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7. Putting your baby on your feed gets such a regular thing, at times you feed every half an hour! You seem like a zonked milking robot while your baby does all the suckling.
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8. At times you are so exhausted with doing only the feeding business, you miss out on just about every other fun in life.
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9. But then, your interest in your baby has so overtaken your husband, that you give him fake signs, false promises and too many giggles when he asks you to snuggle in with him.
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10. We can imagine, all the while you are taming that little shark. Your baby has the jaws of a shark. It will get onto your boobs just about any time, anywhere and, what’s funnier is that it won’t even have to grope about for them in the dark. Babies just know how to find them. And once they find them, they won’t let you go.
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11. That’s not it. They will take it to baring your chest unceremoniously. Up for it? Stop wearing a bandeau then.
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12. And if your resist, they will get more combative than you thought. It’s their property after all!
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13. Your leaky boobs will be a ‘stink’ to your neighbor, but an aroma to you and your baby.
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14. Once you get the whiff of her ‘distastefulness’, you will lambast her. It’s the scent of the elixir. Get it right, baby.
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15. Oh yeah, when someone asks you to take to feeding your baby on the bottle, your retaliation will be sudden and shocking. A triumphant moment for both of you 🙂
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16. You ward off the villain and chuckle at being a brilliant mom!
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17. Yet, when your shirts drench in the milk, you pretend you soaked yourself in that water from the hosepipe, or simply be up for tucking in diapers under your shirt (forget the breast pads now).
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18. Seeing your baby hungry even for a moment will get you to start feeding him.
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19. Hearing other’s babies wailing will leave you leaking milk.
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20. And surely, you will be amazed at how your baby bonds with you because you breastfeed him.
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Isn’t breastfeeding amazing? Stay blessed, you moms out there!
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