Why Children Prefer One Parent Over The Other And What You Can Do About It
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It is often believed that kids have the tendency to pick their favorites when it comes to their parents. And, if this is the case with you, don’t you worry because you are not alone. There are many parents who cite similar experiences. So, chances are that it has nothing to do with your parenting skills, thus, try not to take this favoritism personally. While this may hurt you a little bit, almost every kid chooses one parent over another during certain phases in his/her childhood. Here, we will try to elaborate on this topic a bit to help you understand why this happens.
Does This Partiality Really Happen?
Has it ever happened that your little one preferred to do a certain activity with your partner rather than you? If your little princess or prince is choosing to be fed or dressed only by your significant other, then you are facing a problem that most parents are well aware of. Don’t let this get you all worked up. Quite a lot of kids go through this temporary phase and it is pretty normal. This, in no way, is indicative of the sort of parent you are. So, stop being harsh on yourself.
Is There Any Reason Why This Happens?
Kids and teens might exhibit favoritism in different phases of their lives, each time for a different reason too. For tiny tots, this preference of one parent over another is considered to be an integral part of their healthy development. Maybe the purpose of this stage is to determine the person who would provide them with the utmost care, love, and support. And, as the kids hit puberty, their preferences may also go back and forth, shifting focus from one parent to another.
What Can You Do?
First and foremost, don’t let this worry you too much. We know that it is easier said than done but the best thing to do at the moment is to accept it and let it go. The more you will demand attention from them, the more the kids will try to run in the opposite direction. Just remember that it is a normal phase in your kids’ life and they will get over it shortly. In fact, at the time your partner takes the “center stage”, you can take the opportunity of using your free time wisely. Perhaps, go out for a stroll or spend some time with your friends. This will also help you become the best version of yourself when you are around your children.
And, if you are the kids’ favorite parent, then it is essential that you ensure that your little ones get to spend some quality time with your partner too. This might happen that your partner is stuck doing all the work while you get to spend all the fun moments with your kids. So, if you observe something like this happening, you immediately take charge. Shuffle your routine a bit and give your partner equal chances to spend some quality time with the kids.
You can also try doing things as a family. Group activities can prove to be awesome, giving everyone an opportunity to spend time together. And, in this way, neither of you will feel left out. The duration of these group activities can just be five minutes and it may still work wonders. This can bring the entire family together and strengthen the bond. Gradually, you might notice the kids also warming up toward their less favorite parent.
Of course, do have a chat with your partner about the same. There are chances that your partner may not even be aware of the situation. And, once you communicate, you can work together to figure out a solution. This will also ensure that none of you feel uncomfortable about either the situation or the efforts being made to change that.
Now that you are aware of how this is a normal phase in every child’s life, you can sit back and stop worrying. Try doing the suggested things and see if they work for you. Wishing you all the very best!
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