This Could Be The Reason Why You Can’t Get A Date
saumya gaur 
Image: Shutterstock
Are you bogged down by a cold love-life? Do you think the cupid has been letting you down? Before we start blaming cupid, have you ever thought that it might be you who might be the one shutting doors on people? Getting a date is a complex mechanism that involves physical attraction, charm and the right kind of attitude. One misstep can earn you a reputation of being a bad date or a no-fun date. Let’s examine a couple of common issues that often result in people being date-less.
1. Having A Negative Vibe
Like all good things in life, a good date doesn’t just happen to you. You have to go out and put in some effort for a date to happen. If you have had less than great prospects in the past, don’t let that ruin dating for you. Approach each date as a chance to get to know someone new. Be more approachable. This will make you appear less of a killjoy and more of fun guy/gal.
2. Being Super Selective
Having high standards is not necessarily a bad thing, in fact, you are encouraged to do so. However, having high standards and being nitpicky are two different things. So what if he has the schoolboy haircut in his Tinder profile pic, he might be a great conversationalist with a slightly less woke aesthetic. However, if he has a shirtless, hairy chest picture, we advise you to run for the hills.
3. Relying Too Much On The Apps
Tinder, Ok Cupid, Bumble are great inventions, no doubt about that. I mean 21st Century has no greater invention. You can find your potential life-partner, just as easily as you can order your groceries, all from the comfort of your home. Though you might actually have more luck if you just put on some pants and venture out every once in a while. By relying solely on the dating apps, you are actually severely limiting your dating pool. If you go out and actually try to connect with people you may realize there is plenty of fish in the sea.
4. Not Willing To Experiment With Your “Type”
Yes, everyone has a type. Some like it short and petite, while some prefer it tall, dark, and handsome. But sticking to a particular list of characteristics and not seeing people for who they are can be very constraining too. Try to be more receptive to new people and be willing to experiment with your list, after all, no one is perfect, not even you. Instead of looking at people as a list of characteristics, have a more holistic approach towards them.
5. Hanging Out In Large Groups
It can be pretty intimidating for a person to approach a large group on his/her own. Especially, when it’s a group of four or five bros who always hit the bars together to be each other’s wingmen. Chances are that women who might be interested in you otherwise, will give that group a hard pass. And the same goes for women too. If you don’t want to go by yourself, bring along a friend or two but avoid large groups if you are going out solely for the purpose of scoring a date.
6. Being Too Desperate
Remember you are looking for a date that might translate into a couple of good dates which might lead to a relationship. That relationship might or might not lead to commitment. Notice that “might” is the operative word here. So when you go out to date, remember to have fun with it, don’t go out looking for a potential husband or a potential wife. That too will happen eventually. First and foremost, treat it as a chance to meet some new people and have some fun.
7. Talking About Yourself Too Much
Nothing is more off-putting than an incorrigible show-off. Your first impression is supposed to work like a short snap of your pleasant personality. No one wants to know how much weight you can bench or how traveling has made you “deep”. Instead, try a more subtle approach by crafting your introduction in such a way that it piques the reader’s interest (in case you’re on an app) or the person’s interest. You should leave him/her asking for more. If you are trying the old school approach of meeting people IRL rather than online, then encourage them to tell you about themselves by engaging them in a conversation. Don’t go on rambling about yourself. Remember, it is not all about you.
These are some of the reasons why you might not have been successful in scoring a date. But don’t lose heart, it is not because you are undesirable or not attractive enough. It’s just that your approach to dating is a little flawed. Once you have worked on those flaws, the dates might just start rolling on. It’s all about being you and having an open mind and being more approachable. That is all there is to it if you look at it closely. Do you agree? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.
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